


Not Quite an End Yet

by Lazchan



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-06-09
Updated: 2011-09-29
Packaged: 2017-10-24 03:48:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazchan/pseuds/Lazchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neku discovers that he still has a Player Pin and what that means. After a talk with Shiki, he decided to go see Mr. H for some answers. Spoilers for the end of the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Round and Round, Here we Go Again

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a fair bit old-- but hopefully I can pick up again one day soon. :P

It took them awhile not to jump whenever they got a message on their phones. Neku, especially—he had spent a full three weeks in The Game, where every message was life or erasure. He didn't want to look at them sometimes, even though they were simple messages; Shiki's messages were quick— _'new design to show you, want you to try it on'._ Beat's were full of misspellings and Rhyme's patiently explaining what her brother _meant_ to say.

They weren't messages for a race, to play a game that had no good end; to race across Shibuya to fight Noise. He wasn't in the Reaper's Game anymore.

But still…he kept his Player's Pin. Why he still _had_ it, he wasn't certain and why Joshua let him keep it, why Joshua _had_ him keep it, he didn't know and wasn't entirely sure he wanted to find out the answer. He probably wouldn't enjoy it. Neku couldn't ever trust the Composer, even when he allowed him and everyone else back to life, even Rhyme who had lost the game legitimately, even with its twisted boundaries and rules.

He discovered one side-effect when he had accidentally brushed his fingers against the pin. He had been waiting for Shiki at Hachiko (it had become a tradition to meet there) when he saw a Player, trapped in the Reapers game and making a Pact with a Partner. It startled him so much that he fell back; he didn't want to get involved in the Game again. He didn't dare scan for Noise or for thoughts—that was something that he put behind him forever, he hoped. He was tempted to crush the pin, throw it away—but… he couldn't quite bring himself to throw away something that had such a big impact on his life.

Still…He quickly sent an email to Shiki, asking to meet somewhere else—by 104. She was sure to end up there anyways, he joked in his email. He didn’t want to be near Players, although now knew they were everywhere, just… in the UG. Neku had a bad feeling that some part of him was still playing Joshua's—the Composer's—game and he wasn't sure what role he had.

He decided to tell Shiki his worries when they met up at 104. He waited nervously outside the building, deliberately not touching his pin and not wanting to see anymore Players. Shiki was soon in sight and he waved cheerfully to her, catching her attention and drawing her through the crowd. He had easily gotten used to this new Shiki and actually liked it more; it was more real to him, _she_ was more real.

"So," she began briskly, patting her bag, "I have the outfit all ready and I'm positive we can talk to one of the shop owners to letting us use a dressing room to have you try this on," she babbled cheerfully. "We made such good friends with the one that specialized in the Mus Rattus—"

Putting a hand on her shoulder, Neku stopped the flow of words for a moment. "I have something important to tell you," he cleared his throat, embarrassed at saying so much, of telling her of a worry that just _might_ be his overactive imagination.

"I saw the UG," he said quickly when her eyes went to his, knowing that he was serious, "and a couple of Players when I used my Pin." He held it out lightly and she shook her head. "You still have it," she murmured wonderingly. "I'm… I'm really surprised."

"I didn't expect to have it either, but I think it's because Jos….the _Composer_ ," he couldn't help biting out the name, "gave it to me right as I died. I had two Pins, remember?"

She nodded as she chewed on her lower lip. "And… it worked for you? You saw the UG?"

His nod was miserable. "I saw them… two Players at Hachiko," he murmured lowly, staring at the ground and ignoring the rush of people moving by, their conversations echoing at the edges of his ears now that he didn't have his headphones on. "They made a Pact—you could…" his gaze filled with wonder for a moment, "you could _see_ the connection being made. I had no idea it looked like that before."

"Neku…" she murmured, pushing her glasses up with one finger, "you…you always were better with the pins…" she managed a smile, trying to comfort him, "but to see the UG when you're alive? That can't be good." Shiki wanted to put the UG behind her permanently and rarely spoke of it now that they were free.

"I _know_ it can't be good," Neku muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. "I didn't exactly plan on it or wish for it. Maybe it's because I spent so damn long there." He scowled at the memory of his imposed stay. He scowled harder the memory of whose fault it had been. "Here, you try it—see if you can sense anything."

Frowning, Shiki reached out for Neku's player pin, brushing her hand over it and shaking her hand when it didn't activate for her. "I think it's tuned only to you, Neku." Her look was serious as she handed it back. "I don't suppose you can ask anyone. Maybe Mr. Hanekoma?"

Neku blinked and then brightened at the idea. "Why didn't I think about that?" he groaned, rubbing his head. "Thanks, Shiki."

She giggled again. "That's what friends are for, Neku. Now that I put that idea into your head—I did call you out to try on this outfit—" she pulled out what she had been hiding in her bag and Neku hid his groan of dismay. It seemed that Shiki, even this Shiki, wouldn't get tired of trying to rearrange his wardrobe.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

It was strange being on WildKat street again; he hadn't made many trips to this place; well, none, really—since the Game had ended. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Mr. Hanekoma again—the guy had been nice and helpful; it was just… Neku hadn't really found the time. Didn't want to think about the Game.

"Hey, it's Phones!" The familiar laughter echoed his way as Mr. Hanekoma stuck his head out of the café and waved him over. "Haven't seen you in awhile, kid—why don't you come in and have some coffee?"

"I'm not even wearing my headphones and for the last time, it's _Neku_." It was an old argument and Mr. Haneokoma just laughed. "Sure, sure, Phones. I got it now." He disappeared back inside the café, leaving Neku to follow. This place hadn't changed either.

He waited until he ordered coffee and several customers had been in and out before he leaned closer, hand closing around the Pin. "I… I got something serious to ask, Mr. H," he said slowly. "It's about… " he looked around again, furtively for any watchers, "the Game."

"Still worried about that, Phones? Your part is over and done with—you passed and you've won the prize, kiddo. What's eating at you now?"

"I… I can still see the UG at times." Neku blurted it out. "With the Pin that Jo….the Composer gave me." He frowned at the Pin in his hand. "Found out today," he muttered.

Mr. Hanekoma's didn’t react, just shook his head. "Let me see the Pin, kiddo."

Neku was glad to hand it over and watched as Mr. Hanekoma turned it over a few times, muttering under his breath.

"You shouldn't have a Player Pin when you're not a Player anymore, but this is yours, alright. Direct from the Composer. Keepsake, as you will—" He tilted his head. "Direct invitation to visit the UG on your own terms," he smirked, "no time limit involved."

"What makes you think… makes him think…" Neku struggled to get the words around complete disbelief, "that I'd go back to that place of his?" he demanded. "I won his stupid Game."

"Hey, don't look at me that way, Phones. It's what the Composer said to tell you when you came to ask."

"Arrogant….no-good… can't believe…" Neku muttered under his breath.

"Don't have to take the invitation, you know," Mr. Hanekoma pointed out when Neku's face was starting to turn red from suppressed anger. "It's just an extended hand, as it were."

Neku's phone buzzed and he jumped out of old habit still, aware that Mr. Hanekoma was watching him and probably _knew_ the reason for his jumpiness. Neku looked down at the phone and grimaced at the message.

 _Neku_

 _Technically, Neku—you really didn't win the last Game, but I did let it go, as you had done so much for me and were such a good sport and all. Still, rules_ are _rules and I hate to break my own rules. This is just… an extended part of a larger game, as it were. I'd like you to take part in the next Game, Neku. Not as a Player, but another role. Really, it would be best to not waste time complaining about it. The faces you make are most unbecoming, you know. Now, be a good boy and meet me in the UG._

 _\--the Composer_

"I knew it had to be a dirty trick," Neku muttered. "A stupid…."

"Better listen to him, Phones," Mr. Hanekoma looked serious. "May be an open invitation and all, but I tell you, our Composer hates to be shunned."

Neku grumbled under his breath and eyed Mr. Hanekoma. "And how exactly do I visit the UG without dying?" he demanded.

Mr. Hanekoma's grin was the same as ever as he reached for Neku. "Simple—we just make a few adjustments to your frequency like this—"

 _I better not wake up in the damn Scramble again,_ was Neku's last thought before he blacked out.


	2. Same as Before, Nothing Ever Changes

The first thing Neku heard wasn't the sound of the crossing music at Scramble or the chatter of people, but Mr. Hanekoma's voice and with the pounding in his head, it sounded uncomfortably loud. He forced his eyes open against the light and looked into the blurry image of Mr. H's face.

"You awake, Phones?"

"Yeah, I think…" Neku rubbed his head and looked around him—"My head hurts too much for me to be asleep." They were still in the café and Mr. H was looking all too pleased with himself.

"Well, you're looking ok, then—" he grinned as he gave Neku a closer look. "Didn't sleep for as long as I thought you would, either. Maybe all that time in the UG did you some good after all." He threw back his head and laughed, ruffling Neku's hair.

Neku just scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. Except for the pounding head, he didn't really feel all that different. Not that he had known he had been dead in the first place, but he blamed that on that first entry fee. "Just have a headache, that's all." 

"It's hard, tuning your frequency," a voice lilted near him and Neku turned to frown at Joshua, at the _Composer_. "Believe me, I would know about this sort of thing."

"I'm sure," Neku muttered, "I'm sure it was _so damn hard_ for you to lower yourself to the level of a Player." He wasn't pleased at seeing Joshua again, didn't want to be part of the Game again—get caught up in whatever was going on. He passed, it was behind him—

"Now, now—there is no reason to have that sort of attitude, Neku." Joshua tskd lightly and sat across from him with a faint smile. "After all, you do owe me and it is a terrible thing to have debts hanging about, don't you think?"

"I don't _owe_ you a damn thing!" Neku shouted, standing up and slamming his hands on the table, trying to ignore how the sound and his own actions sent a fresh wave of pain through his head. "You're the one that killed me; you're the one that put me through three weeks of hell—"

" _I_ ," Joshua said coldly, "am the one that gave your friends back their lives, even those that lost at the Game. I didn't destroy Shibuya, even when you _lost_." His eyes narrowed faintly. "Who owes who, Neku? It was because of me that you even had friends. I did you a favor."

Neku opened his mouth to argue, and then shut it again. Joshua had a point and it galled Neku to admit it, even to himself. "You still killed me," he muttered, but it was half-hearted. Joshua had killed him, but he had been given a second chance, too.

"Yes, yes," Joshua said quickly, pushing his hair back with an impatient hand. "We've already established that. Now, Neku—onto why you're here…"

"Why couldn't you talk to me in the RG?" Neku demanded, "or go through Mr. H? You've didn't have a problem with that before."

"Because I don't feel like tuning down my frequency and limiting myself anymore than I have to," Joshua frowned. "Now, really, Neku---stop interrupting and let me get to the point of all this. I assure you, it is something that you need to know." He folded his hands in front of him and raised an eyebrow. "Really, I'm surprised you haven't figured it out sooner, but you never were one to catch onto to the more subtle facts."

Neku put a hand to his head, trying to calm himself down and not retort again, to try and look at it rationally. He couldn't harm Joshua and getting angry was getting him nothing but more belittling remarks.

Mr. H cleared his throat. "Phones, you technically lost the last Game and you know what that _should_ mean." He gave Joshua a disapproving look.

Neku swallowed, suddenly feeling cold. "I should have been Erased…"

Mr. H nodded and folded his hands over his chest, while Joshua waited patiently, that same infuriating smirk on his face. "And you know the rules about defeating the Composer…"

"But I didn't beat him," Neku frowned, "he's making that abundantly clear at the moment. I was his damn proxy, I defeated the Con…" His eyes widened. "No… no way."

"Even I can't break the tradition of those rules, Neku," Joshua smirked, tossing his hair back. "The position _does_ have to be filled, you know."

"But… I… give it to someone else," Neku demanded. "I'm sure Lollipop or Pinky would love the job. They're already Reapers.”

"They didn't kill the Conductor now, did they?" Joshua asked blandly.

"I didn't either, not really," Neku babbled. "He lost the mission, his time ran out—"

"And he lost the mission because of you, my dear, dear partner," Joshua gave him a broad smile, resting his cheek in one hand. "If it wasn't for you working for me—and by the way, I _was_ impressed with what a good job you did—"

"I'm alive, damn it," Neku growled.

"Well, that is something I've been meaning to talk to you about," Joshua shook his head.

Neku turned to Mr. Hanekoma and pointed an accusing finger at him. "You said there was no dying this time! You lied!"

"Now, Phones—don't get your hair in a twist. You can't really die if you're already dead, right?" he asked reasonably. "Josh here never quite gave you back your _life_ —just a few extra tweaks to your frequency, that's all."

"I…" Neku's mouth opened and closed again, fists clenching slightly.

"That's what life is, really—" Joshua gave a graceful shrug. "Technically, you had the semblance of life, but … you didn't really earn it."

Neku's face darkened again at the implication that those three weeks had been for nothing.

Joshua continued smoothly, ignoring the look on Neku's face. "You earned the right to play the Game again, to not be erased, but really—your life was that last battle. You did such a good job though, that erasure of you, your friends, and Shibuya didn't come up, but there had to be a price paid." He smirked and Mr. Hanekoma made himself busy in the back of the café. "Would you rather that I take away Rhyme's life? Beat's or Shiki's?" he asked, tilting his head. "You can still see your friends with this new role of yours, Neku."

"But I never wanted to become one of you," Neku growled out. His headache had mostly faded by now. "And I don't want to work for you," he snapped.

"It's either that, a regular Reaper and the constant threat of erasure, or erasure for certain," Joshua tapped his fingers on the table. "Really, Neku—getting so uptight about this—it really isn't the reaction I was expecting from you." His sly smile said that it had been exactly the reaction he'd been expecting from Neku and he was enjoying every moment of it.

"Why can't I play again to win my freedom and my _life_?" Neku asked, eyes narrowing on Joshua.

"You'd want to play my game again?" Joshua giggled and shook his head. "You can't play the Game anymore, Neku. You, even with you denying the truth of it, are a Reaper. "

"You're making me into a murderer like you," Neku hunched into his clothing, scared and upset and wanting nothing more than to run from the café, from…Neku was careful to not let his thoughts show on his face and kept them from his mind as best as he could.

"Now, now—that's such a harsh word to use."

"But truthful," Neku shot back, "you're getting up their hopes for no reason."

"You'll be the one to tally the score," Joshua lilted, "and really, don't use your Game as a reference to all the Games. Yours was a special case, since Megumi had limited powers." Joshua shrugged. "More than one Player _can_ be chosen for return to the RG, you know. It simply wasn't in the rules of your Game."

Neku really looked as if wanted to hit Joshua at that point, but Mr. Hanekoma appeared back into the main room again, setting coffee and a muffin in front of Neku and shaking his head. "Take it easy, Phones. You know the deal now."

Neku resisted the urge to toss the coffee at him, at Joshua—he took a deep, calming breath. "Let me think about this?" he found himself asking, taking a slow sip of the coffee. "Give me a few days at least."

"That's fair, Boss." Mr. H turned to Joshua and pointed a finger at him. "You did spring this one on Phones rather abruptly."

"Easier this way," Joshua gave a careless shrug. "Not like softening the blow would make it any easier, really." His look turned hard. "Two days, Neku and you return here, or else you're getting erased with no recourse. I trust that you will return on your own—or do I have to put a timer on you as an incentive?"

Neku grimaced at the reminder of the timer and shook his head. "I'll return," he muttered, finishing his coffee and pushing the muffin away, tossing Mr. Hanekoma the money for the drink, knowing that the man would charge him, even if Neku hadn't asked for it.

"Then we'll see you, Neku—" Joshua stood close to Neku and tilted his chin up, examining his face, almost as if he was trying to pry into his thoughts. Neku shoved his hand away and glared at him.

"What about restoring my frequency?" Neku asked, tapping his foot.

"It'll hurt worse than before, Phones," Mr. Hanekoma warned, "you might lose more time getting yourself put back together, and you'll lose your days of thinking, too."

"Besides," Joshua smiled and patted his shoulder, "you're such a smart boy, I'm sure you'll adjust on your own and if not…well, it's good incentive to come back, isn't it?"

Neku snarled and shoved away from Joshua and out of the shop. He still kept his thoughts blank as he sauntered through the UG, through people that couldn’t see him. Just like before, only there were no missions – His phone buzzed and he looked at the message, rolling his eyes.

Except for that one –

 _Return to the Wildkat Café in two days time with your answer. Failure does mean Erasure, dear Neku. No timer this time, but rest assured that this mission is very real._

Neku slammed the phone shut and shoved in back in his pocket. First things first—he had to get away from here and Joshua's influence. If he could just get to Minato or Shinjuku, he'd be safe.

It was amusing to not have to worry about the fare as he took the train from the station, heading towards Shinjuku, didn't have to worry about finding a spot, although it was disconcerting to have people walking through him again—

\--just as he was about to cross the ward from Shibuya into Shinjuku, he went to his knees as overwhelming pain consumed his body and he grabbed at anything to try and steady the world around him. He couldn't process such pain and tried not to black out and nearly fell out of the train when it stopped at the station.

"And what's the Conductor of Shibuya doing in the district of Shinjuku?" a voice near him demanded, and Neku made himself look up to meet the cold eyes of a girl years older than him, her dressed in the current, punk fashion, hair styled in a multitude of braids. She looked pissed and Neku was startled to be able to see the power around her. "This isn't your territory to mess with, Conductor."

Neku tried giving her the finger but failed as his vision swam again.

"You stick to your place and you won't get hurt," she leaned down and gripped his shoulder, fingers digging into muscle and bone. "Spies aren't welcome and your Game is separate from ours. The districts are separate for a reason."

Neku shook his head, opening his mouth and forcing the words out around the ball of pain that was slowly pulling him apart. "Not the Conductor," he groaned out.

"Really," she said flatly, a statement, not a question in the skeptical tone. "You can't lie to me," she poked at him. "The mark of that damn Composer of yours is all over you." She stood back slightly, a frown marring her face.

Neku was more annoyed than ever— _Joshua did something again…_ and shook his head. "Didn't know…" Her face was filled with eloquent disbelief, but she was obviously going to let the denial go—for now.

"Well, get yourself some knowledge then, and get the hell out of my Game and _my_ UG. Tell your Composer to get it in hand. He's not going to overtake my space. He has his own to play with and it should be enough for him."

He tried to give another protest, but he hurt too much for that and could barely focus on her as she gave him a puzzled look. "I don't know what kind of Composer you have, risking his Conductor on some foolish mission. You and he should know better than to risk your existence outside of your district." As the train pulled into the station, she ignored the people the flowed around and through them, keeping her focus on him.

Neku didn't even know the name of this girl—this … he realized who must be the Composer of _Shinjuku_ , before she shoved him onto the train going back to Shibuya. "Get lost and get yourself back to where you need to be," she ordered. "And don't come back to Shinjuku ever again." 

He was left dazed and wondering at just how many games were actually being played and at how vast the UG had to be. He had feeling that he'd only seen a fraction of what it really was.


	3. Falling Onto an Unsteady Path, I Get to My Feet

There were no customers inside the café at the moment and Joshua was taking the opportunity to spy on his Conductor. "You know, Josh—you could go back to your space instead of freaking out the odd customer by invading mine."

Joshua waved it off, carefully placing the mirror on the table. "I can't get tea nearly as easily there—and you did bring me that ramen, so why should I go back outside again?" he asked idly. "This place is comfortable, it suits my purposes and Neku will be by eventually."

Mr. Hanekoma looked over at Joshua, raising an eyebrow as the boy used the wide, flat mirror to observe Neku and the area around him. "Phone's is still shaky," he pointed out. "Didn't see fit to warn him what happens when he crosses the boundaries?"

"It didn't occur to me that he'd be so bold so soon," Joshua murmured absently, concentrating on the image, mouth tilted up slightly. He tapped his fingers on the table, taking a sip of tea and cocking an eyebrow up at Hanekoma. "Besides, I will lecture him when he gets back; he should have known better than to leave."

Hanekoma shook his head at that. "He knew when he was a Player; he doesn't know the same rules apply for Reapers and _especially_ for you two. He isn't the Conductor quite yet, but your mark is on him." He coughed a little. "Azi caught him as soon as he stumbled off the train."

"Well, he knows now," Joshua said, giving a graceful shrug, "and if I told him that he couldn’t leave, he'd still do so out of sheer stubbornness and a need to defy me.It's good to know that he'll still fight me on this—it's going to be so much more amusing with Neku being so…excitable."He was observing to see what Neku would do, how the Players would react when they saw him—for Neku to realize what he _could_ do.

A field test, as it were—a trial of his soon-to-be-Conductor's abilities in the face of adversity. He was certain that Neku would surprise himself but he rather hoped that neither the Players nor Neku would be killed. It was too early for Players to die off, simply because Neku was not aware of his own strengths, and for Neku to be killed by ordinary Players—well, that just wouldn't do at all.

"Does he realize about his wings?" Hanekoma asked dryly.

"No one can see them yet," Joshua said absently, "because Neku doesn't acknowledge them." He was distracted by what he was watching, half-listening to Hanekoma and barely looked up at the short laugh he got in response for his answer.

"Josh, you're technically my boss while I reside in the UG, but I'm going to tell you straight—you're being an ass about this to Phones."

"No—" Joshua looked up, raising an eyebrow at him. "He did just fine when he never realized he was dead, did better when he realized he was murdered." The fact that Josh was the one that murdered Neku didn't faze him. "He grows under adversity, under situations that take him by surprise—the shock reverberates along his Soul. He also does well when he cares about someone or something—and he excels past even what I thought. The Conductor has to care about the city and it's obvious that Neku does."

"Just make sure you don't piss him off so badly that he decides to risk it and run again," Hanekoma rolled his eyes and went back behind the counter as a customer came in. Joshua concentrated back on the image in front of him, lips curving into a smile as if he was enjoying what he saw.

~

As Neku crossed back across the ward to Shibuya, the absence of pain was almost as overwhelming as the onslaught of it. He managed enough to get off the train so he didn't end up in Minato or another area, but that was all he could manage for the moment, his mind still reeling from the revelation of a much larger Game.

He was vaguely aware of the people around him and as the shock starting to wear off, he realized how much _more_ aware of them he was. It was like the Players Pin, but magnified. He wasn't reading the thoughts of people, but he was aware of a type of… potential around him. He staggered to his feet, shaking his head and wrapping his arms around himself.

"Damn it, Joshua," he muttered under his breath, "I didn't agree to it yet, you can't do this to me—" He told himself firmly that he didn't want this, didn't want any part of it—but the look in Josh's eyes as he had calmly explained that Neku had no choice in the matter…"That's such bullshit," Neku growled, upset all over again at the terms and the situation.

Taking a few steps forward, he decided that just standing around wasn't doing him any good. He'd make his way to Hachiko, to other places—he'd figure out how to tune his frequency on his own…Joshua did hint that he would be able to do it—all was better than going back to the café at the moment. He had two days.

He was almost to the statue—really, the station was merely a few steps away from Hachiko—when a set of Players came across him. They were around his age – _why is it always kids our age playing the Game?_ –and they were apparently as shocked to see him as he was to see them.

"Scan him—" the girl urged her partner, trying to point discreetly to Neku and flicking a nervous gaze his way.

"Moe, I already did, I told you—he's coming up blank." Now the older one—the male and Neku flinched slightly, turned to glare at Neku suspiciously. "And he doesn't have a Player pin—he's one of _them_." He made it sound like such a dirty word, the tone angry and sharp. Inexplicably, Neku felt almost hurt at it, even though he had done the same during his time as a Player.

Neku quickly tried to prevent them from doing whatever they were going to do, going on the rules that he remembered—and he reminded himself, he _wasn't even a damn Reaper_ , no matter what Joshua said, so he shouldn't be so worried. "Look, I'm not a Reaper," he said hurriedly, "and even if I was, Reapers don't attack on the second day, only on the last day."

Moe tilted her chin up, eyes as fierce as her partners and again Neku was taken aback by the flare of ….of _something_ he could see around him and there was almost the barest hint of some sort of Melody there, something tugged at him…. He shook his head, trying to clear it from wherever it had gone.

"What was that?" he asked, when they stared at him, obviously waiting for an answer.

"I _said_ , 'how'd you know it was only our second day?'" she demanded."Only the Reapers would know that, right?"

"No—you only have one pin each," Neku pointed it out, "and you'd hardly have survived the entire week with only one pin." He wasn't sure, though—he had traded and bought and created and earned so many pins…."Look, I used to be a Player."

That didn't seem to convince them of anything good. "If you're not a Player anymore and you're talking to us in the UG, then you're a Reaper," Moe frowned at him. "What's your plan with us? Distracting us? Going to give us some crazy mission?"

"I don't _give_ missions, only the Game Master gives those. Wait around a bit and it'll show up soon enough, if it hasn't already, if so—you're really stupid to be hanging around, accusing me instead of completing it." He grimaced and looked up at the sky, at how high the sun was already. "Really—not a Reaper, you don't have to worry about me—"

"I think you're dangerous anyways, right Sato?" Moe looked up at her partner and he moved into a fighting stance. When Neku moved to walk away, he blocked his path, hands brushing over the Pin in his hand. "There's nothing good about the Reapers."

Neku knew now that it wasn't quite true—after dealing with them for three weeks, they seemed almost human, even with all they had put him through. Def March and 777—BJ and Tehno—they were like real people, but they were Support. Neku supposed that even the field Reapers had personality beyond 'kill the Player', though.

Neku rubbed his forehead, and then yelped as the flames edged towards him while he was lost in his own thoughts. Without thinking about it, he redirected the frame of them, bouncing the fire back before it had a chance to harm him. Neku stared at his hands, eyes wide with shock. He wasn't sure what he did—but…the girl—Moe—jumped in front of her partner and took the brunt of the flames.

"Moe—are you okay?Sato kneeled next to her partner, who was looking dazed at the fire that scorched her from Neku's rebound. "You damn Reaper—"

"For the last time, I'm not a Reaper," Neku snapped, "and if you think that was bad, you'll see what happens in the next seven days. The first day is always the easiest." He realized it wasn't the best show of good will and intent to not harm them, but he was tired, he still ached faintly, and was pissed at Josh for putting him in this situation.

"Yeah, whatever—you just keep saying that, we're not going to believe you." He cradled his partner, asking her if she was fine and breaking into a relieved smile when she stood up and brushed herself off with a reassuring pat on Sato's shoulder.

It was there again—that flare of…something around them, that melody that slid across his senses before vanishing into the general din of chatter that made up Shibuya. The Players gave him another suspicious look, jumping when their phones buzzed. Their Mission was here and Neku stuck his hands in his pockets and watched them whisper amongst each other, before running off. Neku was left alone at Hachiko.

Slumping against the base of the statue, he tried to figure out what he just saw, what he he'd _heard_ , in the back of his mind. What was that strange…Melody, itching at the back of his senses? It was slightly off-tune, but true in the base of it.

He hid his face in his hands for a moment, breathing deep and trying to get a hold of himself. He wasn't hearing Music, he wasn't hearing or seeing anything strange—he closed his eyes. He had seen plenty of strange things during his time as a Player—the Noise for one. That was still on his number one "what the hell" list.

But now—he was seeing other things, hearing other things—he was tempted, just tempted to go back to the café early, to ask—demand—just what Joshua was doing or had done to him, but pride prevented him from going early, from begging for answers. He had a suspicion that it had to do with the role that Joshua wanted to shove him in.

And he wasn't the type to just sit around and take it, he was going to see more of it—and then he would demand answers.

~

"He's feeling the Music," Joshua smirked and traced the image in the glass, sitting back and letting the picture fade. "He claims he is no Conductor, but even alive—even as a Player—he knew of Shibuya's music, but now he can actually feel and hear it." His smile grew even wider as he saw how determined Neku had gotten—saw that flare of his Soul because of it.

Hanekoma eyed Joshua. "You had him marked for this all along—the perfect Player to help direct _your_ music of Shibuya."

"You saw him as well," Joshua pointed out, nibbling idly on a muffin. "Your wall—your imprints that you put into your work—drew him out, his Soul responded to the messages there. It was a pity, I suppose that I had to kill him that one time, but look at what good it's done him and Shibuya. With him directing the music of my Game, it will turn out more amazing than before."

"Don't hold back the compliments to yourself now," Hanekoma snorted. "When are you going to tell your subordinates over the new chain of command? They're going to take it in an interesting way, I'm sure—"

"Considering how strong Neku has proved himself to be, the issue of strength isn't a problem. Neku does, however, need to learn more about the Game. We can't have him running around and trying to take apart what I've worked so hard to create, just because of some hard feelings of his own time in it." Josh frowned at that, knowing all too well what Neku could do if he put his mind to it.

"Why did you give him two days, then?" Hanekoma asked, "I know you like your time limits, but two days is a long time—"

"He's going to see the Game, not from a Player point of view, but as one with limited powers as the Conductor. He's going to see the effect that Reapers have, what Noise does—what happens when a Player is erased—"

"And you're making him do it in the field instead of watching from a nice, safe—non-interfering distance?" Hanekoma prodded.

"He'll come across more this way," Josh shrugged. "His own effect on the area will be obvious, the good and the bad." He stood up and stretched, pushing the money toward Hanekoma with a smirk. "It will be interesting to see how it turns out."

~

"We haven't had a Game for awhile—" Kariya mused, eating his lollipop slowly, smirking faintly as he looked at Uzuki. "Looks like upstairs got the rearranging of positions sorted out, but at least you got somewhat of a promotion, eh, Uzuki?" he asked. "Not quite an officer, but moving up just the same."

"It's better than just being a regular field Reaper," Uzuki pointed out, "and look at you—I thought you were never going to be an officer and here you, being assigned as the Game Master. "

"Don't think that changes our bets and games now," he said lazily, leaning back against the couch, eyes half closed. "You still owe me a bowl of ramen from last time."

"Yeah—but you owe me as well, so we're even," she shot back, pacing a little and staring out the window. "What is it with the mission about not harassing the Players on the first day, though?" she demanded. "It's no fun that way."

He gave a shrug. "Mission straight from the Composer, that's all I can say about it."

"I wonder what he's playing at," she murmured, looking off towards the spot where she knew the Composer's Chamber was hidden. "And when do you think we'll meet the new Conductor? They haven't shown up at all."

Kariya smirked, knowing a bit more about the situation than Uzuki did and his amusement was obvious. "Something about field training," he murmured. "This should be an interesting Game indeed."

 _Neku Sakuraba… what a surprise you turned out to be._ He hoped that the boy would continue to surprise them. The mission had already been sent for the day and so he let Uzuki lead him to the ramen restaurant to pay off her bet.

It could only get more interesting from here.

~

It was frustrating and more than a little strange to be sitting across from Shiki and her not being able to see him. He was trying to do what Joshua said he could do—to change his frequency so that she could see him. But as Mr. H said, it _hurt_ ; pushing down on himself, bit by bit and he still couldn't manage it. Something about it wasn't quite right, those notes he could hear again were sour.

If only he could catch it…Shiki sighed and checked her watch again and Neku wished she could hear his apology for 'not showing up' as they had planned to do. She flipped open her phone and starting rapidly typing a message, feeling only slightly guilty at spying on her. He frowned when the information came up as 'email address does not exist,' and Shiki looked upset as well.

"I'm going to talk to Mr. H about this," she murmured as she gathered up her shopping bags. "Something's just really strange."

Neku reached out, but only went through her as she hurried off towards Cat Street. He hurried to meet up with her, even though it only meant going back to where Joshua wanted him to be.


	4. Walking Into Walls, I Try and Try Again

  
Neku wasn't expecting the wall to smack him in the face as Shiki passed through to the café, but it was obvious that someone didn't want him inside. He saw Mr. H shake his head at him and welcome Shiki inside and once she was settled into a booth and away from the door, he raised an eyebrow at Neku.

"Spying on the young lady, Phones?" he murmured lowly, "that's not very nice. No go on—Josh'll be expecting you in two days, unless you're willing to make a choice now?" His lips turned up faintly.

Neku shook his head, scowling and poking at the wall, wincing a little at the feedback that scraped along his senses. "No—I...I just wanted to reassure Shiki..."

"Now, Phones—don't worry about that. I'll take care of her. You, now—you go about doing what you think you're supposed to be doing." He gestured for Neku to leave as he turned back to Shiki, who was staring at him and frowning, one foot tapping on the floor.

Neku poked at the wall one more time, and then huffed away as it was clear there was no way through. He'd figure it all out eventually.

~

Shiki remembered the Game, of course, she remembered Mr. Hanekoma and how he helped. She figured that since Neku went to see him, Mr. Hanekoma would know about what was going on with Neku and about that Pin and...and why his email didn't register.

It scared her and she hoped...she prayed...that Neku wasn't gone. She would have heard something; someone would have said something...her head snapped up when footsteps padded close to her booth. "Shiki—so good to see you again." Mr. Hanekoma's voice was bright as he set the coffee down next to her. "What brings you to these parts?"

"I..." Shiki clenched her hands around the mug for something to hold onto. "Neku was here, wasn't he?" she blurted out. "I can't get a hold of him—and we were going to meet up after he talked to you, but...his email—"

Mr. Hanekoma's eyes flicked sideways for a moment and he gave a sigh, sitting across from her. "Phones is just doing a few errands for me," he said, trying to reassure her. "Kid probably forgot to pay his bill or something—you know how it goes, right?"

She blinked at that, giving a small nod, but her expression was still doubtful. "He said he had a Player Pin—he said...that he could see the UG," she murmured softly. "Why?"

 _Because Josh is an ass,_ Hanekoma thought privately. "Makes it easier for him to run that errand for me," he waved it off. "It's not really a Player pin, you know? Just looks like one a bit." That much was true—it wasn't a Player Pin, but something Joshua was using to track Neku and make sure that he didn't do anything stupid while wandering the UG as a fledging Conductor.

"I want to see him," she said, chin firming. "What if those Reapers come after him again? Or that...that Composer thinks..."

She didn’t remember a lot about the last day, when she saw Neku again and things fell apart. She dimly recalled some sort of person-shaped light; the Composer. The Composer was the one that ruled the Game and he was the one who killed Neku.

"He won't be killing Phones again, don't you worry about that," Mr. Hanekoma shook his head. "You'll be seeing Phones soon enough. Two days, maybe less. He's a smart kid, Shiki. He won't be running off again."

"It's not like him to tell me what was going on before he went on this errand for you, though—" Shiki fretted.

"Phones has still got a lot of growing up to do. He probably just went back to his old ways for a moment and was a brat and you know Phones." He would have to lecture Josh about that, but he knew it was just more of Josh's game, to get Neku to come over faster. He was using his friends as unknowing bait.

That earned a tremulous laugh and Shiki relaxed enough to take a sip of the hot, strong coffee. "Yeah—you're right," she rubbed a hand over her face, removing her glasses and wiping at her eyes. "I'm just...I just got so worried over everything and we've barely been back."

"Well, you'll be sure to yell at Phones for a good long while then, right?" Mr. Hanekoma patted her shoulder. "Teach him not to run off like that without telling his friends first."

 _Beat Josh senseless for bringing up more problems...This is not making it any easier for Phones and Joshua can't see that it's going to cause problems for him, too._

"I'll make him dress up in something Eri designed," she grinned, holding the cup more gently now as he worked at relaxing her, easing her fears. "I...if you see Neku, just tell him that I did worry, okay?" she asked.

"I'll do that, Shiki." He watched as she gathered her stuff and didn't even charge her for the coffee—just let her go and prepared to lecture Josh for letting it get to that point, so soon. Joshua made as if he was going to follow her and Hanekoma stopped her with a hand on his arm.

"Josh," Hanekoma warned after Shiki left, Josh watching her with that peculiar, amused smile on his face, "don't do anything to screw this up more, Boss. You're treading awfully thin with Phones already."

"Don't worry about me," Joshua shrugged it off. "I know what I'm doing. The girl doesn't remember me as who I am, of course—I made certain of that. Only Neku retains that knowledge, and that is because he never left the Game, never left my jurisdiction—" he gave Hanekoma that amused look again. "And only the Conductor is supposed to know who his Composer is."

"That and the Producer, Boss," Hanekoma pointed out dryly. "Although I knew who you were long before you were aware of it, too, before you..."

"Yes, yes," Joshua snapped, waving it off. "I'm well aware that you had me marked as you had Neku marked. We don't need to bring that up again."

"Then why don't you treat Phones better, Josh?" Hanekoma demanded, not backing down this time, frowning at Joshua. "You had the advantage of seeing the Game before you entered it. You knew what you were doing; your Imagination was so damn high that you were able to enter the Game as a living soul."

"Neku is...strong as well," Joshua pushed his hair back, giving an irritated sigh. "I'm not going to break him, you know," he pointed out. "I rather like having him in one piece and it would be an inconvenience to try to find another Conductor at this point, and no one is as well suited to the position as Neku."

"You fucked up, Boss," Hanekoma said bluntly.

"I made no moves that I had not already been intending to do," Joshua said coldly, eyes narrowed. "I may have...rushed the process a bit," he conceded, "but it was something that was going to happen all along. Why waste the time on trivial matters?"

"To him, it wasn't trivial, Josh. You ended his life—you rearranged his frequency and lied to him."

"I didn't lie, I simply didn't tell him the whole truth, which has been rectified already," Joshua broke in.

"To him, you lied." Hanekoma rubbed a hand over his face, trying to think this through, to get it through to Joshua. "He spent three weeks in your Game, with all the rules falling to pieces around him—he was forcibly pushed into your Game with only part of his Imagination sparked. You could have lost everything, Boss, due to your rushing into things."

"Even with only part of his Imagination available to him and developed, his Soul was massive and his control over the Imagination even more so," Joshua pointed out. "As Conductor, he'll have even more chances to expand and refine and ascend to higher levels. You know very well that being a Reaper and especially the Conductor is not a step down, it's about three steps up from where he was before."

"Just be a little nicer or something, would you? It won't kill you to stop acting like the ass you are most of the time, Josh. I do remember you before." he sighed. "You need Phones, Boss—don't screw this all up and lose him."

"I..." For a moment, the old Josh was back—a Joshua that Hanekoma had known a long, long time ago—before he became the Composer and isolated himself even more from the world. "I know," he said quickly. "Just... I'll do this my way and it will be just fine," he said firmly. "Don't worry so much. I can handle this."

Hanekoma shook his head as Joshua headed outside, his frequency still hidden to the RG and the UG. It would remain that way until Joshua down-tuned it enough for his own purposes. He remembered a Joshua that wandered into something that hadn't quite been the café of now—a child that had seen too much—a proud, unhappy child.

Joshua needed Neku and Hanekoma hoped that Neku would be there for Joshua.

~

Neku decided the best way to get his mind off of things was to just wander around the UG for now. Maybe shop at one of the many store, eat something. He needed to do something normal. Anything to make him feel like he was a real person, instead of what Joshua had turned him into, what he was turning into—

He paused by the Molco Building, a faint smile on his face as he remembered the Tin Pin Slammer tournament that had been held there, during his time that Josh...he sighed softly. _When Joshua had been his partner._ It hadn't been all that bad, in retrospect; Joshua was working as much as he had been to confront Minamimoto's Taboo Noise and to fight Minamimoto. He wondered now, vaguely, if the Pact between him and Joshua had been a true one, that part of the reason why Joshua invested so much time in helping Neku was that if Neku was erased...if Joshua would have been, too.

That was a sobering thought and it sounded better than just Joshua doing it to save his bet with Shades, to win the game within the Game.

He would have liked it better if Joshua had done it simply because they had become friends. Neku realized now that whatever he felt for Joshua at the moment—unadulterated aggravation was top of the list—he had made friends with Joshua. Thought it pained him to admit it, he and Joshua were a great deal alike.

Well, he wouldn't admit it to Joshua...yet.

He ended up walking along Dogenzaka street, where there were a few ramen restaurants scattered in all the love hotels and pachinko parlors; Neku couldn't help notice with some amusement that only the ramen bars had the decals on them for the Players— _guess you're not allowed to go sleeping around in the love hotel while in the UG._

He wondered if he could even go in and eat—if he'd be seen or if the decals would work the same way for him. He certainly wasn't having any major successes at changing his frequency on his own, but he was hungry and he hoped for the best. Ken Doi's place was probably his best bet—it had good ramen, even when Ken had weird flavors and names to offer.

He wasn't prepared for something that felt like lead weights suddenly dropping on his shoulders as he crossed the threshold; he staggered and then it passed. He looked up at Ken, who just smiled and gave his same, cheery greeting and Neku relaxed a little more. This, at least, was normal.

"Hey there, kid—haven't seen you for awhile. What's got that look on your face?" Ken raised an eyebrow. The shop was pretty empty, only a few customers there and Neku tried to block out the bits of Music he felt, even in here.

Neku waved it off, but he was surprised that Ken had noticed. "Just got a lot on my mind, that's all," he said, making a face. "Can I get a bowl of shoyu ramen?" Neku liked it as simple as he could and wasn't sure that his stomach could handle any weird specials today, no matter how good they ended up being.

"Sure you don't want the special?" Ken pressed, but he was already stirring a pot, peering into the contents before going to anything. "Got a nice Triple Blitz today," he nodded.

Neku wasn't sure he wanted to know what made it a Triple Blitz and just shook his head. "Just the shoyu, please," he murmured, sitting down in one of the few booths and playing idly with the chopsticks on the table. He froze as he heard a familiar set of voices. No, no way...he did not want to deal with Reapers. He already had to explain to Players, but Reapers were worse. Reapers could conceivably erase him—unless...unless Joshua told them that he was supposed to be one of them. Neku wasn't sure which was worse. Joshua wouldn't want to risk that, would he? He would want to try and make sure that his Reapers didn’t try and off their supposed-Conductor...right?

Luck may have been on his side as he was able to get his ramen, but not as a shadow fell across the bowl Don had just put down. "Why look here, Kariya..." a sickeningly sweet, familiar voice made Neku look up and frown, even though he didn't need any visuals to confirm the voice. "It's that headphone wearing freak that survived three weeks in the Game." Her eyes narrowed faintly, "and who's in the UG again. Can't keep a hold on your life, Phones?"

"Shut it," Neku hunched into his clothing and tried to concentrate on his food. "I'm not in the mood, Pinky."

"Oh, someone's got a big mouth for not having a Player Pin or a partner," she giggled and sat across from him, an almost playful look on her face.

"Uzuki—" Kariya slid across from her, the small booth almost too small for the two of them together. "You should leave Phones alone. Remember, we can't do anything to the Players—"

"But he's not a Player, now is he?" she demanded, pointing a finger at Neku, glaring. "He's snuck into the Game somehow and the Composer won't be pleased that we let something like that slip by us." Her giggle was annoyingly high-pitched and Neku wished he could block out the noise she made. "I say we sic some Noise on him and let that take care of it."

Kariya's lips curved into a smile around his favored treat, and suddenly Neku knew that Lollipop knew what Joshua had planned, what Joshua wanted. He was enjoying this and his eyes gleamed slightly. "That might not be a bad idea," he drawled, leaning closer to Phones. "Field work is so very entertaining, after all."

Neku glared harder at his soup, fingers clenching on the table top. "Don't you think that Ken would worry if one of his customers suddenly vanished for no reason?" he asked.

"You'll have to leave here eventually," Uzuki smirked, getting up and blowing him a kiss. "Have fun until then—" She tugged on Kariya. "Let's go, Kariya. It's Day Two already and we can at least watch and put some fear into the Players..."

"You go ahead, Uzuki. I want to put a little fear in Phones here, first," he grinned and Uzuki giggled again, nodding in agreement before heading out the door.

Kariya's manner changed slightly as he looked at Neku without Uzuki in tow. "Eat up, Phones—you shouldn't let Ken's ramen go to waste."

"What do you want?" Neku demanded. "I doubt you're the type for friendly chatting."

"You helped us out before, Phones—why wouldn't I want to have some friendly conversation with you?" Kariya asked, leaning back and deceptively casual. "After all, it's always good to be on friendly terms with the higher ups."

Neku's eyes narrowed at Kariya. "I don't know what you're talking about," his voice was stiff as he slurped up the noodles. "Higher ups? I don't recall ever being part of your group."

"Don't play with me, Phones." Kariya pointed a finger at him, taking his candy out for a moment. "I may not be all high ranking, but that's my choice. Right now during this round, I'm the Game Master and that means that the Composer lets me in on a few things, since the Conductor is currently..." he paused and smirked, "being trained."

Neku pushed his empty bowl aside, shaking his head. "I haven't made a choice yet," he muttered, "and I'll be damned if I let J...the Composer push me into one."

"It's the smart thing to do," Kariya shrugged, "and I can think of a number of Reapers that'd...kill...to be in your position." He tilted his head toward the door, indicating the absent Uzuki. "Me? I don't care all that much for the higher position, because field work suits me just fine."

"I want," Neku snapped, "to have my life back."

Kariya sighed and shook his head. "Well, you can't," he pointed out reasonably. "Be glad your Imagination is strong enough to grant you the chance to be a Reaper instead of Noise or being Erased. You lost the game, but you have other chances. I'll tell you straight, Phones—being a Reaper isn't the tragedy you think it is. You're too smart to keep holding onto that conviction."

Neku huffed and opened his mouth to protest, then shook his head. "I've only seen what the Game does," he pointed out. "Creating noise and obstacles and trying to Erase us—"

"This," Kariya pointed out logically, "makes you stronger, weeds out the dull ones, and improves this ward all around." He poked Neku in the chest lightly. "The Game made your Soul stronger – I don't anyone but you would be able to survive three weeks solid in the Composer's Game."

"Kar-iy-a..." Uzuki's voice called from outside. "Come on—the day's passing by and we're going to miss Players getting taken out if you keep chatting with the brat—"

Kariya winked at Neku. "You could at least do it to see Uzuki's reaction as to who you're going to be," he grinned.

Neku blinked and then hid a smile; Kariya patted his shoulder as he stood up.

"Just think about what I said, Phones. Head outside—you know the Noise won't bother a Reaper—and watch the Players in action. It'll be good for you."

Neku nodded slowly, fingers lightly holding the chopsticks still in one hand. "I...yeah, I guess it can't hurt," he muttered grudgingly. And I can still always say no.

"That's the spirit—" Kariya waved at Ken before he met up with Uzuki outside, Neku hearing his warning that no, not even a little torture was good to whip the Players into shape. _He_ wasn't going to get in trouble because Uzuki wanted to fight.

Neku considered for a while longer, staring at his bowl until Ken cleared his throat. Neku jumped and handed him the money for the ramen, then he headed out the door, the feeling of being weighed down abruptly vanishing until he felt almost light-headed. He brushed his fingers against the decal, wondering if that had been the cause—it hadn't affected him that way as a Player. Perhaps it had different effects on Reapers or Reapers-to- be or whatever Neku was.

 _Field training, hmm?_ He wondered vaguely as he moved away from the wall, eyes and ears open to catch as much as he could of the UG. If he paid enough attention to the other Reapers, perhaps he'd learn a few tricks himself.


	5. You Can't See Me, but I'm Not Invisible

Neku wondered how he was supposed to follow unobtrusively, since Uzuki was sure to spot him and he didn't have the same range of … moving… from place to place as the Reapers did. Not that he wanted to, but it made watching things a bit harder. He instead decided to find a corner—a piece of a rooftop—somewhere –to watch the area below, seeing both Players and Reapers at work.

Joshua had apparently ordered a 'non-harassing' order to the Field Reapers, but that didn’t stop the Wall Reapers from working. Neku had already decided that the ones that guarded the sector walls weren't all that bad, but they were 'support' and didn't do anything but delay the Players from moving onto the sectors they needed to go to. From his perch, Neku was getting a good view of the Players—and he was seeing how _different_ they all really were. Not all of them were like Shiki, Beat and Rhyme. Some were…petty. Some weren't smart – some looked lost and didn't even try.

There was such a bewildering variety and Neku grimaced at the sheer amount of people that had to have died in Shibuya at any given time. Accidents, suicides—natural deaths; all of them deserved a second chance if they wanted it. Some, he mused as he watched them, tried harder than others to regain what they lost. The longer he watched, the longer he listened, he could sense that odd sort of music around them.

It was annoying as hell, hearing and seeing those partial melodies. He covered his ears with his headphones again, trying to block out the sounds. But he couldn’t mistake the sight of a Player getting erased--- but his new 'ability' granted him a slightly different picture than someone just vanishing in front of him. He saw the Soul disperse and the Melody around the area twisted for a moment. A Reaper nearby reached out and gathered it up.

"Points for me," she hummed cheerfully. "Can't harass 'em, but we can still gather." The Player's partner sighed and gave up a moment later, the despair altering their Music until it wasn't a Player—it was Noise.

Neku stared, hand reaching out as he wished that he could do something to save them. The Noise wavered and shimmered, almost looking like the Player again before twisting back to Noise.

The Reaper stared at the spot, then suspiciously around and then up where Neku was hiding.

Neku fled. He didn't want to see what else would happen without him knowing it or controlling it. He was going to partially swallow his pride and go back to the café. Not to make a decision, but to demand answers before he did make one.

The café was quiet – and Neku was relieved to see that there was no sign or feel of Joshua, just Hanekoma. There was also no wall this time and Neku walked in, shoulders hunched slightly. "You're both asses," he started with. "A little more warning would be nice."

"Something happen, Phones?" Mr. Hanekoma sat back, sipping at his coffee and pushing a cup towards Neku. Neku gave it a look and fished for some money, but Hanekoma waved him away. "On the house, Phones."

Neku's look grew wary. "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

Hanekoma gave a shrug. "Can't I be nice for once?" he asked. "You might be one of the high ups in Shibuya. Take it as it is, Phones. So, how'd the day go?"

"I…" Neku frowned. "I thought was just to _observe_ ," he said carefully. " _Not_ see weird things… do weird things…" he rubbed at his ears behind the headphones. "And I keep on hearing…stuff," he mumbled. "I can't explain it, you know? Like, there's the buzzing of the Noise, but then there's all this other stuff, too."

"That'd be because you're set up to be the Conductor, Phones," Hanekoma explained easily, eyes trained on the other. "What does a conductor do?"

Neku grew sullen, staring into his cup. "He directs that music that the composer writes."

Hanekoma nodded. "He also puts his own interpretations into it, improving in small ways, making it breathe and live." He leaned back. "Whether you accept it or not in the end, you're already making an impression here. The Conductor is almost as important as the Composer in the welfare of Shibuya." He smirked. "More so in some ways, because it's the Conductor's job to make sure the Composer isn't a total fuck-up with his creations."

Neku looked up, startled at the phrasing and then started to grin. "Joshua give you a headache?" he asked dryly.

"Phones, Boss is a lot of things and he's always been a powerful little shit, but he's also not what you'd call easy to get along with." Hanekoma sighed. "Part of it is because he's been alone all of his life, even when he was actually alive."

Neku stared at him, eyes narrowed faintly. "Are you serious?" he demanded. "That… he…he was actually _telling the truth_ for once?"

He nodded, eyebrow raised. "Yeah, me and Josh—we go back quite a ways. What he told you is pretty much how it went down—well, the basic s of it, at least." Hanekoma gave another shrug. "Kid saw the game for all of his life and he happened to run into the person that'd be willing to explain it to him."

Neku was starting to realize that just perhaps Mr. Hanekoma wasn't that all-around nice, helpful guy that Neku thought him to be. He started to get up, but Hanekoma shook his head, pointing to the seat. "Not finished explaining yet, Phones." His tone was still pleasant, but Neku was started to regret coming here.

"You planned out his … life for him?" Neku demanded.

"Kid had potential and he saw the Game for what is was," the easy tone didn’t leave. "After awhile, and my explaining what was going on, he wasn't even that bothered by it anymore. Couple of years more and he even saw it as something he wanted to try. Kid was wasted in the RG."

"I think I'm going to be sick," Neku muttered, paling at the thought there had been someone more of an ass than Joshua, someone that he trusted to help him—

"Been watching you the same way, Phones—although I didn't expect Josh to take you out, y'know?" Hanekoma gave a philosophical shrug. "You have a lot of potential, too, managed to feel the imprints in my art—" Another sip of coffee, as simple as if they were discussing the weather, not the rearrangement of lives. "Soul's bright and all and Josh—well, Joshua saw that as well and decided you'd be perfect."

"And then he killed me," Neku muttered, rubbing his forehead. "I knew I should have gone to that school outside of Shibuya. This wouldn't have happened—I'd be alive—things would be _normal_ , I wouldn't be turning into some freak of nature like Joshua and help to kill people…"

"Phones, you were a special case," Hanekoma slapped him on the back hard. "Reaper's don't go around the living world to knock people off and the people in the UG are already dead. They're just earning their second chance, that's all. Fair's fair, you know?"

"What the hell was fair about that game?" Neku's voice cracked. "Being chased around Shibuya, running around and doing stupid tasks and … " he took a deep breath, "where all that was waiting for the most of us was a second death?"

"No, Phones—the grand prize was returning to your normal life," Hanekoma explained. "The runner-ups got to be reborn—totally new life and all or a chance at being a Reaper." He shrugged. "Those that lost dispersed into Shibuya's music or became Noise." He gave Neku a look. "Not everyone can win the grand prize, Phones, but sometimes runner-up ain't so bad."

He pushed his chair back. "All of this, the Game and the outcomes help with Shibuya. You, Phones, can make sure it goes smoothly. You can't trust Josh to do it all on his own." He looked pensive for a moment. "Joshua's been alone too long, kiddo. He needs someone to ground him."

Neku sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "What makes me so special to help a nutcase like him?" he asked.

"It's because you're you, Phones," Hanekoma tipped his head back and laughed. "Just keep being yourself and you'll pull Josh along just fine."

"I don't think I can pull him along anywhere," Neku muttered as he rested his head on the table. "This sucks. I can't ever leave Shibuya again, can I?" He looked up at Hanekoma, who sighed and shook his head.

"'fraid so, Phones. No trains out of this ward."

Neku sighed and pushed his hair back, looking irritated. He knew something about his earlier trip. He wouldn't bring it up now... he'd wait until Joshua was around. "Might as well make the best of it, then. But…" he warned. "Don't think this means Josh'll have an easy time of it."

Hanekoma smirked as he poured Neku another cup of coffee. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

Neku rubbed a hand over his face. "Does this mean I get to see my friends now?" he asked, then quickly amended his statement. "That my friends get to see _me?"_ He didn't want to just be around Reapers and Joshua and Hanekoma. He'd go crazy. He liked having his friends—Shiki and Beat and Rhyme—

"Don't worry, Phones. I'll make sure your life is as normal as it can be. I'll make sure I talk to Josh about it, too." He rubbed a hand over his face. "Not that it'll take too much convincing. Josh might act like an ass, but he sees a lot of his situation is yours, you know. You two are a great deal alike."

Neku frowned at being compared to Joshua _now_ , especially since he knew more of what the other was like.

"Don’t get that look on your face," Hanekoma said, expression severe. "I told you a bit about Josh—we do go way back, you know. Annoying little prick at times, but he's just a lonely kid, Phones. Seeing dead people all your life'll do that do you."

"You guys… really weren't kidding about that?" Neku asked slowly, uncurling from his hunches position, looking at Hanekoma more seriously. "He… he really did see into the UG?" He tried to imagine what it was like—being _alive_ and being able to do that. "At least he wasn't in danger."

Hanekoma gave him a long look over his cup. "Kid, I already told you that he did and don't think he had it all that easy. He had other eyes on him, you know—if your Soul's so bright that you can see above the normal frequency of your world; well—that's going to make trouble for you somewhere down the line. Ol' Josh didn’t have an easy life, kiddo."

Neku raised an eyebrow at that. He knew about the Game and willingly went into the damn thing. Josh himself had said that he thought the RG was boring and Neku said as much.

"His life in the RG was hell," Hanekoma said bluntly, "and he was too damn smart to be wasted in some facsimile of life, going by the same rules and regulations that his family had, to do the same traditional thing for years. He had too much of a mind to be wasted. Just like you Phones, just like you—you have too much potential to have it shut away by doing the normal, expected things in life."

Neku raised an eyebrow at that. "I'm not sure I want to know what you think of me," he said dryly, "or how long you've been watching what I do." He shivered. "That's just really kind of creepy."

Hanekoma just gave him a faint smile, watching and taking another long drink of coffee. He seemed to be waiting for another type of response.

Neku looked up at the clock, sighed and looked at Hanekoma. "Well, since the asshole took my memories, I guess he'd know all sorts of things about me." he muttered. "So it's not like I don't deserve to know something about him."

Hanekoma gave a nod. "That's the spirit, Neku. I'll tell you about Josh some other time; the stuff he doesn’t tell you himself. Josh doesn't talk too much about himself, you know.It's been a long time for him and some if it's painful." He stood up and pulled Neku to his feet. "For now, I want you to follow Kariya around some more; I think you can use his help for some of your…talents. Show you a bit more about your job and the effect you'll have on the Game."

"As the Conductor?" Neku asked dryly, taking another long drink of his coffee and allowing Hanekoma to usher him to the door.

"Yep," Hanekoma prodded him."You've seen a bit of it, you know. What you do to the Noise and such—but—" he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Kariya's been in the Game a pretty long time. Enjoys the field or else Josh'd have promoted him a hell of a lot earlier. Knows the ropes better than anyone else."

"He has a partner," Neku gave him a bland look. "Pinky's not the smartest thing in the world, but even she'll realize that the Noise aren't coming after me."

"Kariya doesn't trot with Pinky all the time, especially since he's the GM this week," Hanekoma smirked and Neku groaned. It seemed this whole damn week was planned out to make it easier for him to see the so-called benefits of his new life.

He wanted to kill Josh for this, for the enormous set-up—but…

Well, at least there was _some_ help, some direction involved. It could have been worse.

"Go on now—hunt down Kariya. He'll be alone at the moment, Uzuki's off on another task." Hanekoma pushed the to-go cup in his hand. "And Phones?"

Neku looked back at him, raising an eyebrow.

"It'll get better. I promise."

He would tell Neku about the barely-visible wings later. _Someone_ would point them out.

~

Kariya found Neku first, arms crossed over his chest as he looked Neku over. "I see you're getting more used to the position now," he observed.

Neku blinked up at him, startled at the seemingly random observation. "What makes you think that?" he asked. "Is it my wide smile that says "wow, great idea,"?"

Kariya gave a snort and reached behind Neku and Neku nearly turned inside out at the sudden flash of pain. "I…what the hell?" he demanded. "What did you do?"

"Just pointing out an example of your acceptance," Kariya's voice was casual, but amused. "You didn't even have a hint of these things last time I saw you. They’re almost completely visible now." He tugged again and Neku swatted at him, feeling back himself for whatever was there.

His hand froze when he actually felt something below his shoulder blades, almost sharp-edged and the buzz of Music rang loud in his ears. Neku sat down, harder than he meant. "I have wings," he said in disbelief.

"Yep."

"I have _wings_. Reaper's wings," Neku repeated, head throbbing again. "Why do I have Reaper's wings?"

"Because, Phones—" Kariya looked unconcerned, switching his lollipop to the other side of his mouth. "You're accepting your position of becoming a Reaper—Conductor doesn't show his wings much, but he's got 'em, just the same."

"But…" Neku felt back at them again, tracing the curled edges and frowning. "No one told me that I was going to have _wings_."

"You didn't even notice them until I gave them a yank," Kariya grinned and hauled Neku along. "Don't moan about it so much, Phones. Now come on—gotta show you some of what you do here In the UG. Things are kind of a mess right now, which is why I think the Composer's gotcha running field duty a bit. Stabilize the area, as it were."

"Stabilize?"

"Direct the energy, too. See Phones—the Noise goes about its own happy way most of the time, but then you get Noise that just sticks around and clutters the UG—sometimes it needs a bit of encouragement." He pointed towards a set of Players that hadn't noticed them yet.

"Now, the pact protects them, but—they need to scan, you see?" he asked. "You direct the Noise around them and the buzzing in their ears will encourage them quick enough to get rid of it. They get stronger by using their Imagination and the Noise gets Erased and cycled back through. Everyone ends up…stronger because of it."

"And those that get Erased by the Noise?" Neku asked, arching an eyebrow.

"They become Noise themselves and encourage—in their own, mindless fashion—the next Players to step it up. The Noise are trapped in their own Plane, Phones.Every Noise you kill frees another failed Player, another negative emotion—Imagination gone wrong and twisted."

"And the Noise that the Reapers create?" Neku prodded. "I did pay attention—there are two kinds, after all."

"That's also from other Players," Kariya shrugged. "There's a multitude of negativity around here, kiddo. It just builds and builds—the Players with the brightest Souls get rid of it. The Reapers Game is a service—to the Noise, the Players and the playing ground. Everyone's moving to improve." He took out the lollipop, moving through a sea of frog Noise. "Now, take these gutter frogs. Not a lot of power—but—we like to spice things up a bit and you, Conductor—can rewrite their Frequency so it's a whole different breed of frog."

Neku concentrated on the Noise in front of him, gathering the frog in his hands and wondering what type of Player it had been or if the Noise bred and created more Noise from itself. He could feel the undercurrents of Power in it and he wasn't aware of Kariya's intense scrutiny. He wasn't sure he even wanted to do this.

"You can't do it?" he asked suspiciously.

"Not rewriting Frequency, kid. We can change our own and use what we have at our disposal,but half of the Reapers can't tune into higher Frequencies to rewrite even a Noise of a lower one. Officers sometimes, but—they can sometimes down tune, but not upgrade anything but their own selves."

"But you can all manipulate Noise." Neku said flatly, eyes half closed as he pulled at the strings of Music that he could barely feel around the Noise-it was all static and discord.

"Yeah, Phones—" Kariya said dryly, " _We_ are able to manipulate Noise. The stronger the Reaper is, the stronger Noise they're able to control." His lips curved up again. "Day Seven is going to be…interesting for the Players, I'm sure."

Neku shuddered, remembering the three 'Day Seven's" that he had gone through—Yodai hadn't been _so_ bad, but Minamimoto brought up all sorts of unpleasant memories and the Iron Maiden was even worse. He couldn't forget, of course, how the whole damn thing ended, either.

 _Damn you, Joshua._   


Neku sent a surge of energy through the Noise, its Frequency abruptly shifting in his hands until the pale green frog shimmered and turned a pale pink color, the red spots flaring on its back. "I…" his eyes went wide as he dropped the Noise, "I did that?"

Kariya looked pleased as he slung an arm around Neku's shoulders. "You sure did, Phones. Welcome to the team."

Neku still couldn't help feel…wrong about it, just a little. He was encouraging Noise to attack Players—well, no… that wasn't true. The Players chose when to attack Noise. The only time had been forced to fight Noise was when he had to clear a Wall or when the Taboo Noise had attacked.

"What's the purpose of making stronger Noise?" he demanded. "What good is it to make something harder to erase?"

Kariya sighed. "Phones, the stronger the Noise, the stronger the Soul. The stronger the Soul, the better life it'll have next time around. The stronger the Soul that the Player erases, the stronger _they_ become. Get it?"

Neku nodded slowly, fingers still tingling from the energy that he used; the energy that he hadn't known really how to use—it just… flowed in a way. He hunched in his clothing. "It really sucks."

"Well, that's death for you," Kariya gave a sigh and a shrug. "Come on—let's go watching some more Players," he grinned cheerfully. "Mission today was to stop the trains in Shibuya Station. Once they figure out the riddle that gives them the mission that is. Some of them are smarter than others."

Neku gaped at him. "You want to upset something that much in the RG?" he demanded. "Are you crazy?"

"Trains stop all the time, Phones. All sorts of things happen to them. Never said how long they had to be stopped for, either." Kariya whistled a cheerful tune as he strolled along to the station, pushing Neku ahead of him.

The station was one of the areas that they couldn't be seen in the RG and Neku figured Kariya was being a bastard, when he smiled faintly. "Easier than they think it is, I bet," he said with a faint smile. "But they do have to use their Imagination for it, at least one pair."

"Exactly, Phones." Kariya grinned. "Knew there was a reason we were keeping you around. Now, let's find a nice corner and watch the show."

~

Neku wasn't surprised to see Moe and her partner there, the girl pointing out the message on the phone and glaring at him, explaining in a rapid undertone. She pointed to the station master and then to the various people waiting and Neku began to smile. This girl was pretty smart and even Kariya looked pleased.

"Can't see them as well as you or the Composer, Phones—but even the regular Reapers can see potential in some ways. That girl—" he gestured to her, "would bag us some major points if we managed to erase her—"

Neku glared at him, but Kariya wasn't finished.

"But only because she seems pretty smart and talented to not survive the full week." He sucked on his treat and he and Neku watched as the imprinting worked on the targets suggested. Various calls from all over to 'stop the train' came, and one from a frantic station master that was sure there was 'delinquent children' on the tracks.

"I do so love creative imprinting," Kariya smiled and leaned back. "Game's over for today—give the kids a moment to breathe and then it's back to sleep for them."

Neku was about to ask what it meant by 'putting them to sleep'—he'd only been on the receiving end of it, after all—when the Players all seem to freeze for a moment. Their eyes closed and they seemed to fade, blending more into the background of the UG than before.

They didn’t seem _real_ anymore.

Neku reached out, but Kariya shook his head firmly. "No, not you—you're not allowed to touch them," he grinned. "Composer told me that one upfront. Your power's kinda blippy still." He guided Neku away. "They're not hurt and it's totally hands off for _all_ the Reapers to go near sleeping Players. Only the Composer and Conductor are allowed to move them and…" he smirked. "You're not exactly the Conductor yet."

"You're trust them to… to…"

"Composer takes care of Shibuya, Phones," Kariya was still guiding him, pushing him gently away from the now-points of light that were the Players. "And that includes the Players. Might not seem that way to you, but—when it's at this stage, he makes sure that they get to the next day."

Neku gave the area one last look, before acquiescing. He'd made his decision. He just hoped Josh wouldn't be too damn smug over the response. It was going to be enough of a headache dealing with him for god knew how long in the first place.

~


	6. We Sit Down to Lunch, But I Can't Quite Trust You

As Kariya left him in front of the café, Neku knew that it was going to be more difficult from here on out. The hardest part was going to be putting up with Joshua and his attitude for god knew how long. It was almost enough to make Neku give up the idea completely, but… he heard Shibuya's Music and even had to admit that he wanted to feel more of it—as strange as it was, part of still hummed in his bones.

Making sure Joshua didn't fuck over Shibuya was an extra incentive. None of these bets to decide the fate of the city and the people—Neku would make sure whatever Joshua thought up, it actually made sense before he implemented it. To … work with Joshua was going to be odd and unbelievably difficult, but… Neku cared about Shibuya, too – and didn't want to see it fall. It hadn't always been that way, but the Game had changed that and him and Neku supposed he had Joshua to thank for it overall.

It wasn't going to make it easy, but Neku knew that he'd repeat that to himself when he felt like kicking Joshua down a flight of stairs…or into the sewer. He began to smile at the thought of Joshua dripping with sewer water, his fancy clothes ruined. He kept that image in his mind as closed the door behind him. Joshua and Mr. Hanekoma were both waiting for him; both looked unusually serious.

"So, Phones—I take it you made your choice?" His eyes roamed over the wings that Neku was suddenly very aware of and he gave a short nod and hunched slightly. He wanted the damn things gone—it wasn't as if they got in the way of anything, but they were obviously like some sort of beacon, informing the world of his acquiescence before he even opened his mouth. "Day earlier than I expected."

Neku shrugged and sat down in the chair across from them, Joshua had yet to say anything—he just watched him with that careful, almost sly smile. "I saw enough," he said shortly. "And… and I felt enough, too," he turned his gaze from Joshua's and kept it trained on the floor. "I still don't like the Game… and erasing people, but… I think I understand a little more now."

"Mmm, glad you do, Phones—hard to go into this job without an understanding of some of the rules, y'know?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Not as bad as you thought, I'm guessing? See a bit of what happens when someone completes a mission?"

Neku nodded, a small smile on his face. "Their Soul gets brighter, doesn't it?" he asked.

"Exactly, Phones—adversity builds character and all." Hanekoma stretched his legs out, poking Joshua. "Got anything to offer, Boss?"

"I always knew Neku was quick on the draw," Joshua said slowly, amusement in his eyes as he observed the other. "I didn't think it would take him the full two days to realize the importance of the Game and I suppose he realized some of his purpose as well."

"Yeah, guess I did," Neku shot back, "but before I do the secret handshake to get into your warped club of undead, we're going to set down some rules, first."

"Rules, Neku?" Joshua raised an eyebrow. "You're _my_ subordinate, you realize. Why should I agree to any rules that you set down, when I already have your soul in my hands?"

"Because there are others ways of getting out of this than agreeing completely," Neku shot back, eyes narrowed, "and if you want things to work between us and whatever type of… relationship… partnership—this is going to entail, then you will damn well at least listen."

"I suppose," Joshua sighed. "Name your terms, Neku—I promise that I'll at least listen, even if I don't agree."

Neku rolled his eyes. "How generous of you."

"I try to be," Joshua gave him a bland smile.

Neku bit his lip to keep from retorting. "First—" he pointed a finger at Joshua, "I want my life to be as normal as it can be, you hear me? I have friends now and I'm not going to forget about them just because I'm working for the opposite team."

"I see no problem with that," Joshua's smile was sly again and Neku felt a sense of foreboding. "As long as you can… change your Frequency so that you can be seen in the RG, then it shouldn't be any trouble to make your weekly visits with them."

Mr. Hanekoma cleared his throat. "Boss—until he gets the hang of it, you should—y'know, lend a hand or something. Phones ain't going to learn without a little instruction." He gave Joshua a look. "It's not as if you came into the position with all the knowledge in your head, either."

"Yes, but I was rather quick in picking it up, wasn't I?" Joshua asked pleasantly. "Neku's a bright one, he'll see it just as quick, I'm sure."

"Josh."

"Fine, fine," Joshua waved an impatient hand. "Help and instruction for my newest employee."

"How nice of you," Neku rubbed his forehead. "I also want to go to school—finish high school at the very least." Both looked rather surprised at that and Neku felt a little uneasy at the looks they exchanged. "What?" he demanded. "Is it such a bad thing I want to finish school? If I can be seen by my friends in the RG, I should be able to go to school."

"Bad idea, Phones," Hanekoma crossed his arms against his chest. "The level of Noise in an average school would mess with you badly and especially since your Frequency would be driven so low that you couldn't … do anything about it."

"I still want to go," Neku said stubbornly. "Just because you want me here, doesn't mean I'm going to sacrifice my education to do so. If I had wanted to skip school, _you_ would have made fun of me for being poorly educated or something." The look was trained on Joshua again.

"I'm sure _I_ could teach you, Neku," Joshua smirked and leaned forward. "It isn't as if I'm lacking in that department, after all—" He gave a graceful shrug. "Besides, what would you need most of your schooling for? It isn't as if you're going to go into the happy workforce of the RG or live out a life that is expected of the dullards in the world. You're meant for more than that."

"Still. Going." Neku bit out.

"Don't say we didn't warn you," Joshua frowned. "Anything else?" he asked dryly.

"Any… anything that you decide to do with Shibuya, I get to see before you do it," Neku said firmly. "To tell you if it works or not."

To his surprise, Joshua gave a more real smile at that. "Of course, Neku—that is what one of your purposes is, after all." He looked pleased with the demand, rather than annoyed as he had with the other demands that Neku had made. "That is one of the reasons I chose you as my Conductor, after all."

Neku gave him as suspicious look, but nodded. "Alright, then—tell me how to get rid of these wings and up my Frequency before I go home."

Joshua and Hanekoma exchanged another look. "Can help you with the wings, kiddo—that's your power and it's best to suppress it, anyway—but what do you mean by going home, Phones? You do realize…" His voice trailed off as he sighed. "Joshua, one of these days I'm going to beat some sense and tact into you."

"I should have thought it was obvious," Joshua gave Neku an irritated look. "Really, Neku—you're smart and I'm sure you realize what it means to be _dead_ ," he said firmly. "That means no longer living and those around you that had any connection realize that as well."

"If I hadn't gone home, where have I been sleeping all this time?" Neku demanded.

"Memory loop, I would surmise," Joshua tapped his lips thoughtfully. "It sometimes happens; you go through the motions of life, but your mind skips over the fact that acts you take for granted never really happened." He smiled, pleased with the idea. "It's quite fascinating, really—what the mind goes through to protect itself."

Neku's head hurt and he tried to argue the point, to prove he had gone home, but when he really thought about it… he never actually _had_. A shiver worked its way down his spine. "So all this time… I've actually… I mean…" he swallowed. "It's not like with Beat and Shiki and Rhyme…where they actually came back and excuses were made?"

Joshua shook his head. "You never actually came back, so from the moment you died—arrangements were made and I'm afraid you're rather…gone from the living world."

"Josh… some tact, _please_ ," Hanekoma pleaded as Neku's face paled. "Would it kill you to try a little harder to be nice about it?"

"Dead is dead, Sanae," Joshua waved it off. "He's been dead for the last month, why should it be such a shock now, especially since we _already_ told him that his life was never returned to him."

"So… I mean," Neku shook his head. "But… I was talking with Shiki and Beat and Rhyme and it was all normal—"

"I did allow that sort of thing to happen," Joshua shrugged. "It seemed rather harsh of me to just keep you here when I had apparently shot you and ended not only your RG, but UG existence as well. I gave you some time."

"Where you still lied to me," Neku growled out.

"And that was corrected," Joshua pointed out, complacent. "Really, Neku—getting upset over such trivial details is beneath you."

"Trivial… my _life_ is trivial?" Neku demanded. "I never even got to say good bye to anyone."

"Did anyone actually matter enough to you that you wanted to say goodbye to them?" Joshua asked, eyes meeting Neku's and Neku couldn't quite look away. "You have people now, I agree with that—but it isn't as if you have to say good bye to them, now do you?' Joshua asked reasonably.

"You… you're …" Neku found himself speechless at how blasé Joshua was about the whole thing.

"He's also been dead for too long to really think about how hard it hits you," Hanekoma broke in, frowning at Joshua. "I'm hoping he'll learn some manners and tact around you."

"Shibuya'd collapse from the shock of it," Neku muttered under his breath.

"Is that your way of saying how much you appreciate me?" Joshua asked, batting his eyelashes. "You like me just the way I am, Neku—how nice of you." He crossed his legs, smirk widening. "We do understand each other after all."

"I understand that you're an asshole," Neku gave Joshua a bland, pleasant smile that meant nothing, "but we can't choose our personality for our bosses, now can we?"

"As long as you accept that," Joshua giggled. "Now—I will agree to help you with your little problem of being unseen in the RG, but—" his eyes flicked over Neku, "don't expect that it will be a pleasant experience for you, especially since your power is out and active now. It may… be uncomfortable, but that is because so much power, being suppressed—" he shrugged. "Even I have that problem."

"You're the Composer, though," Neku frowned at him. "You have the power of an entire city boosting you."

"And you're my second-in-command," Joshua pointed out. "Really, Neku—you have an incredibly strong Soul and Imagination. It won't be contained without a price; if you're willing to pay it, we can get started."

Joshua stood up and held out his hand to Neku formally. "I _am_ glad that you're _my_ Conductor, Neku," he murmured lowly as Neku grasped his hand.

"Act like it a bit more and I'll start to believe you," Neku gave a faint smile, though. "Should be a hell of an experience, at least."

Joshua gave him a wry smile as if he understood—and the expression was the most normal one that Neku had seen on the other. Neku could almost believe that Joshua was human with that look and he conceded, very privately, that it might work out.

"Now—about where to put you for the night," Joshua hummed under his breath. "It's too late for you to see anyone tonight and Sanae did mention that you might be out for another day." He twirled a piece of hair.

"Might take Phones that long for him to adjust to his Frequency actually be forced to the RG level," Hanekoma mused, "it's a pretty damn powerful Soul—about like yours, Josh."

"It would have to be strong if he's to keep up with me and the city," Joshua murmured absently, stroking along the edge of one of Neku's wings and making a thoughtful sound and Neku shivered at the line of power that shot down his spine with the touch. "Still, it is considerably more powerful than before when you entered into the UG, Neku. Much stronger," he said in approval.

"There—looking like yourself again," Hanekoma grinned. "Wings gone, Phones, but all that power of yours—" he tapped Neku's back, "is still all here."

Neku nodded slowly. He still had the sense of the wings and it was almost stronger now; the power that created them was almost tangible. "That… that helps," Neku murmured, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm not going to back out," _No matter how much an ass Josh is_ , "but some stuff is just going to take awhile."

"I understand, Phones," Hanekoma eyed Joshua, "but just don't let it all freak you out; you already saw that it isn't as bad as it seems."

"I know, I know…" Neku sighed. "Now—where _am_ I going to stay tonight, since the option I thought I had isn't there anymore?"

"There is space in the River," Joshua shrugged. "That option is certainly open to you, given your status."

"Because I'm really powerful… I have the option of living in a _sewer_ ," Neku raised an eyebrow. "How delightful, I hate to see what type of space you give to people that rank the lowest in the Reapers." Crossing his arms over his chest, he gave Josh a dry look.

"Neku, really—" Joshua sighed. "That's just the entranceway, you've seen where we really hold our... base, as it were, is quite different."

"I saw the creepy ass throne area before you shot me," Neku agreed easily. "Didn't seem all that hospitable to me—a little empty." His smile was still that bland one again. "Throne's awfully big, Josh… are you compensating for something there?"

Joshua's expression was surprised for a brief instant, before his lips curved into a smile. "Curious, are we, Neku?" he asked. "I didn't know our relationship had gotten to that point of intimacy, but if you're offering, I can hardly refuse."

Hanekoma gave a slight groan, shaking his head. "You two," he muttered, "this is going to be a really interesting Shibuya with the two of you working together."

Neku was looking rather horrified at the suggestion, ears turning red with embarrassment. "You… you think I'd actually…"

"Well, you did imply, Neku," Joshua pointed out. "I could only assume."

Neku snarled something wordless and stalked towards Josh, one hand balled into a fist. "You're such an unbelievably… smug… arrogant…"

"I'm only arrogant because I've earned the right," Joshua gave another shrug, patting Neku on the shoulder. "Now, be nice to your Composer, Neku—" his eyes gleamed faintly. "I do own your soul, you do realize—and the secrets of you being able to be in the RG until you figure it out for yourself."

Neku faltered, hand twitching in reaction to him suppressing the urge to lay into Joshua. "I hate you," he finally muttered.

"Now that we have that established, are you ready to go to your new home?"

Neku bit his lip. He had been alone most of his life and he had enjoyed it that way, but it was still shock to his system to have so much of what he was used to, what he had grown up with, swept away so easily. He was still only fifteen—whether he was alive or dead, Reaper or Player.

He wouldn't let Joshua see anything beyond that of how much it bothered him. "Fine," he said sharply. "Let's go."

"And your willingness and eagerness to jump into your new role just astounds me," Joshua murmured, lips curved upward. "Don't pout until you've seen the final result, Neku. It's most unbecoming."

"It won't be so bad, Phones—" Hanekoma slapped him on the back. "Josh'll take care of you—I'll see the two of you tomorrow, try not to blow up Shibuya, hm?"

Joshua just smirked as he led Neku down to the River.

They could wait to introduce Neku to _his_ subordinates until tomorrow. Josh wasn't entirely heartless, after all.

Besides, catching them off-guard before the game officially started would be more fun.

~

Neku wasn't sure what his reaction should be as he saw what was beyond the throne room. It was so normal, yet … not at the same time. Joshua's space was as diverse as Shibuya itself and Neku could pick out different aspects of his town as he stared around where Joshua lived. It made sense, it really did—but it was almost overwhelming to see so much there.

"Your room is here," Joshua led him down a hallway, sharp eyes taking in Neku's expression. "I did take the liberty of having something ready," his lips turned upward. "I hardly thought you would be the type to refuse."

"Are you always this damn sure of yourself?" Neku demanded.

"Being confident isn't a bad thing, Neku," Joshua chided lightly in amusement. "It serves you well when you are dealing with those that think they know so much more than you." He giggled lightly. "Of course, if your case—there are those that do know more than you, but your power is greater and…" he paused and pushed open Neku's door, "you were _my_ choice and that's all that matters."

It was so much like his room at home that Neku felt his throat catch, hand on the doorsill. "I," he coughed and shook his head. "Joshua…how did you know what my room looked like?" he asked, gaze moving about the space. "And get so many of my things? What did you do, rob the place?"

Joshua huffed. "Really, Neku—rob is such a… blunt word. I simply acquired the items with no one the wiser."

"You stole from me… to make sure I had my stuff," Neku frowned, not sure if he should be offended or outraged… or even pleased that Joshua had gone to these lengths to try and make him feel comfortable. If he had to settle on one emotion, he would have to admit he was fairly creeped out.

"It's your stuff and it's here," Joshua raised an eyebrow. "I _did_ try and make sure you would be comfortable, Neku," he said lightly.

"I… yeah, I can see that," Neku muttered, never sure how to read Joshua or his moods—what was real and what was pretend. "Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome, Neku," Joshua giggled again. "Now—we need to work on training some of that energy of yours to be suppressed." He pulled Neku into the hallway again. "Let's hope you're a quick study, Neku, or this will be a very long, painful night."

Neku swallowed hard and he had to remind himself that whatever Joshua put him through, it was worth it to live as normal of a life as he could manage. Everything else took second place.

~


	7. Accidents May Happen, But There's Only One of Me

To Neku's relief, they weren't 'training' in the throne room, but a smaller, more comfortable looking space.

"If any accidents happen in the throne room," Joshua said idly at Neku's look of surprise, "they could affect the fabric of Shibuya. And my dear Neku, accidents with you might level a portion of the city. Tokyo really doesn't need any earthquakes so soon after the last one."

Neku shot him a disbelieving look. "I really doubt I have that type of power," he said dryly.

Joshua's brows rose in the same disbelieving gesture. "Neku," he said slowly, as if he just realized that Neku hadn't quite grasped the concept yet, "you are the _Conductor_ of Shibuya and thus as Conductor, you have enormous power. Add to that your already impressive Imagination and it's a force that, as I've said before, is a match with mine."

He leaned close to Neku, who immediately backed away. "Your Imagination was so bright that you, even with how much you said you hated it, survived my Game with ease. There was no psych that you were unable to use." He moved forward again, practically stalking Neku into a corner. "You were able to stand being connected to me—which would have made any normal Player collapse from the strain of it."

"Well, being connected to you _was_ a pain in the ass," Neku admitted, not liking the look in Joshua's eyes.

"Even Sanae, an _Angel_ , I may remind you, saw the potential and strength of your Soul." Joshua continued as if he didn't hear Neku's sarcastic reply. "Why are you so against being powerful, Neku?" he demanded, eyebrows drawing in. "Your Soul and Imagination can change the very fabric of Shibuya for the better and already has started doing that."

"I…I just don't want you getting overconfident, that's all," Neku flushed, staring at the ground. "If you start thinking that I can keep up with you with no effort, I don't want you … disappointed." He flashed him a faint grin. "You disappointed would probably put small children to shame with the tantrum that would ensue."

"Neku…" Joshua fell silent for a moment, and then tilted Neku's face up so that he faced him and met his gaze. "I know that I won't be disappointed in my choice, I rarely make bad decisions." The intensity of Joshua's gaze combined with his close proximity made Neku's cheeks warm for some inexplicable reason. "Trust in that, hmm?" he asked lightly. "Your power isn't the problem. The only problem is getting that potential of yours under control and directed to the well-being of the city."

His touch lingered for a moment as he drew his hand away from Neku's cheek. "And you're cynical enough to not believe me, but I _will_ help you, Neku."

Neku was caught speechless and wondered what happened to the Joshua he knew, but he wasn't going to regret the rare moment of humanity. It was only moments before Joshua was back to his brisk self.

"Now that's s settled," he said, "let's get to work." He seemed to shimmer and brighten in Neku's gaze until Neku could still see Joshua, but a Joshua that was fuzzy around the edges. "You see how I don't…quite look like myself?"

"You look fuzzy," Neku said bluntly. "Is that supposed to be impressive or were you trying for something imposing?"

Joshua blinked at him, eyes astonished for a moment, then his lips curved upward. "Your Frequency really _is_ high," he murmured, without any explanation for his words. "Well, don't just look, then-- _listen_." His voice was still oddly patient and Neku reminded himself that if it wasn't for him, it was because Joshua didn't want the city to collapse in smoking ruins.

Joshua reached out to him again. "Close your eyes," Joshua instructed. "Just listen to the Music, it's what you control and direct," the amusement in his voice was clear. "Once you hear it, imagine as if you have a…music player and you're the only one that can change the volume."

Neku nodded; it wasn't quite the time for jokes at the moment, he caught the seriousness of the situation and he wanted to—no, needed—to get a hold of this so he could spend time in the RG with the friends he cared for.

But it was harder than Joshua made it sound—the Music this time was more elusive, drowned out by Shibuya that was around him and through Joshua. "Block the rest out," Joshua was _close_ , Neku realized, speaking directly in his ear, "just listen to your own Music."

Unconsciously Neku found himself relaxing with Joshua so close to him and he tried to do as he instructed, reaching inside of him. It was a little like feeling for the psychs and their power, only there were no pins to draw it out through. Neku tried to sift through the pounding, a raucous din of collective sounds and finally hit on something that was almost-familiar and mental fingers grasped it for a second before it slid through the noise and was lost again.

He must have made sort of frustrated sound, because he felt Joshua grip his hands. "Shh, you almost had it," he said. "This is the easiest part, Neku," the teasing lilt was back again. "Don't give up on me so easily."

He felt disconnected from everything but the noise around him and was barely aware of Joshua's presence except as an exceptionally clear strain of Music. He was hardly even aware of where he was anymore but he could feel Joshua gripping his hands. He tried to reach further for that elusive sound that he knew was what made him who he was. He would damn well find it, too; he wouldn't have Joshua mocking him.

 _There_ \--he felt it again and he reached further than before and again grasped it. He opened his mouth to tell Joshua when he realized he was flat on the floor, staring up at Joshua, who was kneeling next to him. "What…?" his voice rasped.

Joshua's look was a mixture of amusement and concern. "You reached too far," he said, lips turning upward. "Even though I said this was the easiest part, I didn't say it was _easy_. Don't wear yourself out, Neku." He pushed sweaty hair away from Neku's face. "You've been at this for hours, you need a rest."

"I hurt…" Neku muttered. "Like someone's been beating at the inside of my head."

"Well, you did dig quite deep," Joshua leaned back. "Not quite the echoing space then, hm?" he teased. "Really, Neku—it does take a lot of energy and it will hurt to force yourself down to a level that you're not meant to be at anymore."

Neku scowled at him and would have retorted angrily when another stabbing pain hit him and he whimpered. "Ugh..." he muttered, "why didn't it hurt this way when you did it to me?" he asked, making a face.

"I have more experience at it," Joshua said lightly, "and you're forcing your mind and power to work in ways it's not quite sure of yet—that is why it hurts so much right now. Once you have more experience at it, it will become more natural, but—" he shrugged. "There is nothing gained without something given in return." He was silent for a moment; hands absently still smoothing back Neku's hair. "Even for me there is some cost."

Neku wanted to squirm away from what Joshua was doing—it was _weird_ , but he was oddly soothed by it, the pain receding in small waves. "I guess so," he muttered, "but I want to see my friends again, too." He sighed and tilted his head into Joshua's hands. "They're going to worry about me."

It should be weird that he didn't mind that Joshua was this close to him, but a piece of him—probably that part of him that was Conductor—was oddly at peace with it and enjoyed Joshua's attention. He would have to have a long talk with that part of himself after all of this.

"And I told you that I could help take care of that," Joshua chided. "There's no reason to push yourself so hard tonight, Neku." He seemed pleased at the way Neku was moving closer instead of moving away. "Mastery of this ability doesn't come in a single night."

"I…I don't want to be dependent on anybody," Neku's voice was muffled.

Joshua's eyes softened as he caressed the side of Neku's face. "You were never that way," he said absently, "but asking someone for help every once in awhile isn’t a bad thing."

Neku nodded, the pain almost completely gone now, but with it went his strength as well and he felt his eyes slipping shut. "I'll wake you in a few hours," Joshua's voice was in his ear again and Neku struggled to keep his eyes open. "Rest now, Neku."

~

It was frustrating to realize that he couldn't master the down-tuning of his Frequency in just the one night. He couldn't even manage to grasp his personal Music without extending himself to the point of pain and almost passing out. He had gotten close and earned something that _sounded_ like sincere praise from Joshua, but he was nowhere close to where he wanted to be.

If he wanted to see Shiki, Beat and Rhyme, he was going to have to ask for Joshua's help, but it didn't seem quite as horrifying as before. Something with the way their strange relationship shifted last night and Neku wondered exactly where it was going to go from here on out.

Before he could see his friends, though and explain his new position in life, Joshua pointed out that he had left his subordinates in the dark too long about their new Conductor. He wanted things to progress in their normal sense with the Game and he couldn't keep relaying things through Kariya. Besides, there was always a Conductor and questions might be raised if one didn't appear soon enough. At the least, there would be bickering and backbiting and the urge to overthrow the system.

"Quite messy, really, " Joshua pointed out, pushing his hair back, "and I don't like having to clean up such a mess, Neku. Just be a good boy and get it over with. It's not as if they can harm you and they are _your_ underlings as well. Get used to the command of them."

It was one thing to say that and another to follow through and Neku tugged on his clothing, scowling slightly. He hadn't seen anything wrong with his normal clothing—baggy and easy to move around in.

"I don't see what's wrong with it," Neku snapped, after the third sigh that Joshua gave. "It's my clothing and it's not as if the Reapers themselves are a hotbed of fashion." He snorted faintly. "I mean, look at Uzuki."

"My, my, Neku… are you paying more attention to the fashion around you?" Joshua asked, lips curving upward, irritation momentarily forgotten in this new chance to tease Neku. "That girl of yours… Shiki, I believe, she must have left such a daunting impression for you to make that sort of remark."

Neku flushed. "I'm just saying that it's not that important that I look the way you think I should. You were wearing _dresses_ during the Game, you have no room to talk about what's 'appropriate' for my position or not."

Joshua smirked and leaned forward. "But I looked good in them," he lilted, more amused than ever now. "And I suppose you're right—it's just clothing, after all—but really, Neku. This clothing of yours—you really do look better in other fashions. You should branch out more."

"Josh…" Neku rubbed his forehead. "If I have it my way, the main thing I'll be wearing is a school uniform for the next two years."

"Hm." Joshua still looked concerned about Neku's firm decision to go back to school. "I still say that it's a bad idea for you to do that, you can easily get educated here, proper diploma and all if that's what you're worried about."

"And spend more time with you than is really necessary, having you lord your knowledge over me?" Neku grimaced. "No thank you."

"Neku," Joshua grew serious. "We're going to spending a great deal of time together, you know. Unless you somehow have the misfortune to get killed, you and I will be working together for quite some time. My Conductor, Neku. It's not just something that you'll grow out of for a more enterprising career choice."

Neku could feel the power behind that gaze and he huffed, shifting his gaze away to hide his unease. "Well, let's just get this over with, then." He muttered.

"So enthusiastic, Neku," Joshua giggled. "Now, I'll be there with you—but no one will be able to see me but you. Think of me as… an imaginary friend. People stare if they see you talking to something only you can see."

Neku's lips turned upward briefly. "And if I take the right medicine," he said dryly, "do you go away to the land of make-believe?"

"You wound me, Neku," Joshua put a hand to his heart. "Now, play nice." He pushed Neku forward, towards the door that led to the Reaper's meeting room.

~

Neku was very aware of Joshua next to him, could see that amused gaze flick over the Reapers as they took in Neku's appearance.

"What is that Phones kid doing here?" Uzuki, predictably, was the first to speak up and she smirked at Neku, standing up and leaning over him. "Do you like playing tag with death that much?" Her fingers twitched at her side. "Must be, since you wandered into a room full of it."

Neku hoped that Kariya would back him up after he announced who he was (hell, Neku wouldn't have believed himself without some sort of proof or support) because it was going to be…weird. He cleared his throat. "Um, actually…" he said slowly, "I'm the new Conductor."

Whatever conversations had been going on stopped at Neku's words. All eyes turned towards him and Uzuki.

"I knew you were dumb, kid—" Uzuki's laugh was a little too high-pitched for his liking, "but you gotta be dumber than a brick to make that sort of claim. Do you even know what you're talking about?"

Joshua giggled beside him. "Such faith in my choice," he said lightly, "I really should demote her one of these days, but she amuses me."

Neku shot him a look, glaring off. "Really," he said. "That prick of a Composer of yours chose me."

"You don't seem very loyal," Kariya smirked around his bean paste and looked up at Neku, "but then again, only the Conductor could get away with name-calling like that. He's speaking the truth, Yashiro. Composer gave me the message awhile ago—Phones here is the Conductor." His gaze was amused. "He's our boss."

Uzuki's face was turning an interesting shade of red as the scream rose from her throat. "No—no _way_ is this punk the Conductor!" she shouted, pointing a finger at him. "That's not a funny joke, Kariya. What's he really doing here?"

"You could exert _some_ authority, Neku," Joshua leaned against him, murmuring in his ear. "Really, now—are you going to let her get away with talking about you like that? She's far below your station."

Neku's scowl grew. "And have me treat people like you do?" he snapped at him. "The girl's frustrated, damn it. Although…" he couldn't help but grin. "I've never seen anyone look like they're about to explode just because they found out they didn't get promoted—again."

Now Uzuki really screeched and lunged for him, but Kariya managed to pull her back before she did any damage. "Whoa, girl—I was serious. He's the Conductor. Bad idea to piss of the top brass if you want to become an Officer at all."

Neku rubbed his forehead, leaning against the wall. This was not going the way he had hoped—although it was going the way he envisioned—Uzuki trying to rip out his throat and all. "Can we just… calm down for a moment?" he asked. "Look, I wasn't expecting this anymore than you. I guess he's supposed to pick people from the ranks or something…"

"Can't do anything about that, Phones," Kariya shrugged, still holding onto Uzuki. "You won the spot, fair and square." He looking far too amused about the whole thing. "It's going to be interesting to see where Shibuya goes with you in the Conductor's spot."

"Such an unconfident Conductor," a voice near the wall muttered. "Kariya, you sure he's the right one and not some Player on a power kick?" Power sparked around his hands, swirling daggers of lights hovering. Neku tried to look calm—but he couldn't control his Frequency, let alone manage to use or guard against attacks without the pins. That one time with those Players had been a fluke.

Joshua prodded Neku between his shoulder blades. "Show them your wings, Neku," he ordered. "Only Officers and above have wings like yours." He seemed rather unconcerned at the way the power rose in the room and Neku was trying not to cover his ears at the way the Music strengthened here. "You act like it's so easy," he muttered.

Joshua sighed against his back. "I'll help, but really Neku—you'll have to learn to do this for yourself." Neku's breath let out in a surprised hiss as Joshua's hands ran down his back and Neku _felt_ the power there, overwhelming his senses for a moment. He was aware of the change this time, of the wings that were fully formed now, curling down past his back. He was glad that he couldn't really see them; the knowledge that they were there was weird enough.

Neku staggered and reached back to Joshua as he was suddenly _aware_ of the Power in the room. Each reaper here shone with it—brighter and well… to his ears, _louder_ than most of the Players he had seen. He closed his eyes. "See?" he asked, waving a hand back at them as he felt Joshua steady him. "Wings. Reaper. Big wings. And you're all going to make me deaf so can you _tone it he hell down_?" he demanded.

Joshua giggled against him and Neku would have shoved him away if he wasn't the one keeping him upright for the moment. Uzuki looked confused for a moment, body relaxing as she gave him a perplexed look.

"Conductor," another voice offered. It was 777. "Kid's standing in the middle of a concert hall with five bands playing at once." He grinned and sauntered forward, smacking Neku on the shoulder and nearly dislodging Joshua. "Looking good, kid, if a little green. I knew I'd see you around again."

Neku coughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Hey there, 777…almost forgot you were a Reaper—and…" he blinked."Hey, you're not like… Erased anymore. That's awesome!" He felt a real smile break out on his face. "Ever find your mic?"

777 nodded, hands in his pockets. "We had to dig through six of those damn junk heaps before we finally found it. Sho is a fucking nut, I'll tell you."

"He was something else," Neku made a face, relaxing more now at a familiar—and friendly—face.

Uzuki was still looking aggravated, hands on her hips. "Well, I still don't see why I have to listen to you," she muttered, "but I guess I'll have to for now," she smirked and blew him a kiss, flouncing out of the room. "Come on, Kariya~" she called out, "the ban's lifted against taunting the Players and I want to stir things up."

Kariya gave a long sigh. "Alright, alright… I suppose a few extra points won't hurt. You'll need it after pissing off the Conductor." With a wave to Neku, he followed his partner and one by one, the other Reapers left as well, until Neku and Joshua were alone.

With another brush over Neku's wings and that same shiver of power, Neku felt them vanish back into his body and he sighed with relief. He didn't think he'd ever get used to them.

"There, that wasn't so bad now was it?" Joshua asked, sitting beside Neku as he slumped to the couch. "We really have to work on your presentation though," he tsk'd. "You hardly present the imposing manner that a Conductor should."

"Well, excuse me," Neku shot back, frowning at his Composer. "I don't think I was exactly trained to act like the over-bearing asshole that you do so effortlessly." He smirked. "Or is it a natural talent for you?"

Joshua sighed and shook his head. "Part of this is because you have to show people that you're the one in power, or they take advantage of you."

"And you get out so much, that I'm sure you have lots of opportunities to display that sort of arrogance." Neku raised an eyebrow. "You're just a regular people person, Josh."

"And you're the shining example of good will?" Joshua snapped back, arms crossed against his chest. "You shut everyone out as well, Neku, don't play that game with me. You improved through my game and I," he paused, "I am trying, Neku."

"Not doing a shining example yet," Neku wasn't willing to budge quite yet, but something about Joshua's tone made his words come out more teasing.

"I don't trust easily, Neku—and I've held myself this way for a long time." Joshua sighed as he pushed his hair back. "Whenever I had dealt with people—you do understand that at the start, I did interact more with my Reapers, but I had much of the same problem as you did." At Neku's look, he gestured to himself. "I did die at this age, Neku and I was a Player at one point, too. I had to establish myself immediately to the Reapers at the time."

"And now?" Neku asked.

"Now, they simply cannot see me unless I purposely down-tune my Frequency. It's too high for normal people to see, even Reapers." He leaned forward, resting his knees on his thighs, chin propped up on his hands. "You and Sanae are a few of the people that can see me as myself."

"Then you should down-tune more often," Neku suggested, raising an eyebrow. "Talk to people more. It's like they'll have an easier time of killing you even if they know who you are. You stopped bullets and you were in the _RG_."

Joshua was silent at that. "It's troublesome for people to see me as I really am," he said, "and with my powers curtailed, it makes it more difficult to govern Shibuya."

"That's awfully lonely, Josh," Neku observed.

"Well, that's why I have you, isn't it, Neku?" Joshua asked and Neku met Joshua's gaze, a little surprised and gave a nod.

"Well, yeah—but I'm going to drag you out to hang out with the others, too. Get a better understanding of Shibuya," Neku grinned, "being near those that make it what it is."

Joshua gave a slow nod at that. "I…I'll try," he said finally, "to do it your way. I suppose that a few hours or so at a time isn't too debilitating and you'll be going through the same thing."

Neku made a face at the thought, but it wasn't as if he could deny it. "Yeah—it'll be worth it though. You'll see."

~


	8. You Say You Hate Me, But You're Still Around

They had chosen the café because it was one of the places that would automatically down tune Neku's Frequency without any effort on either of their parts—and it would cause the least amount of discomfort as well. They wouldn't be able to leave the café, but Neku figured that he could explain things in a place that he was comfortable in, one that they all knew. Mr. H. would be there and he could calm down things if anything got out of hand.

Neku wasn't really ready for this; to meet his friends and explain what he had become. They had all been through the Game and shared the same dislike for it and most especially, the people that ran it. None of them had any like for the Reapers and now he was going to say he was one of the _top_ Reapers, Conductor to the Composer that ran the Game.

He cradled his head in his hands; the thought of their reactions was giving him a headache.

"Really, Neku—I don't see what the problem is," Joshua observed from his spot on the stool next to him. He was sipping a cup of tea as if nothing was wrong, as if this was just an ordinary day. "You'll tell them and they'll either accept or not; your worrying about the outcome will hardly change the situation. You're _my_ Conductor and that won't change."

"I _know_ that," Neku snapped, crossing his arms. "They're still my friends, okay?" he demanded. "If you'd open yourself up at all…"

"And what, Neku?" Joshua asked, setting down his cup. "Make a lasting bond with people that will eventually grow old and forget, people that move on with their lives and take paths away from Shibuya?" He shrugged. "I've found that it's not quite worth it to make friends only to lose them, Neku. I stay one age while the rest of humanity does not."

He leaned back, expression placid. "You asked me earlier why I didn't get out more—that's the reason why."

"No wonder why you're such a head case," Neku rolled his eyes. "All you do is sit in a sewer and occasionally drink coffee with Mr. H. Friends, Josh—friends are a _good_ thing at times, even if they'll…"

Neku's skin paled with the sudden realization. "I… they're going to grow older, aren't they?" he whispered. "I mean, that's normal and all… but… I'm not." He swallowed hard. "I mean… I'm _dead_ and dead people don't age and…"

"Neku," Joshua stared at him, frowning slightly. He ignored Neku's earlier dig about him being a 'head case'. "You already knew this, don't dwell on it."

"You're such an asshole," Neku muttered.

"I'm just stating the truth, Neku," Joshua's look was part exasperation and bewilderment. "Why are you fussing about it now?"

Neku just rolled his eyes. "Of course you wouldn't get it," he muttered. "Jeez, Joshua," he sighed and let his voice trail off, leaning back into his chair. "But you're right, it doesn't change a thing." _Except hurt that much worse. How much compensation is the Music to losing your friends?_ He hadn't experienced enough of what Joshua had termed as Music, different from music. Neku could hear the difference in Joshua's voice when he spoke of it and the wistful look on his face that made the Composer seem almost human.

"Keep thinking that way," Joshua patted his hand, pleased that Neku had seemingly come to terms with it so quickly. At the counter, Hanekoma rolled his eyes. He really should have let Joshua socialize more.

~

"Neku!" Shiki nearly knocked him over with the force of her hug and he couldn't help smiling back. The next thing he got was a smack in the chest. "You idiot, don't go running off like that without any explanation. Do you know how worried I was?" she demanded.

"Ow, jeez—I didn't have any chance to give you warning, I didn't have any myself," he protested, glaring at Joshua. Shiki blinked at him, no recognition on her face. "Friend of yours, Neku," she asked, pushing her glasses up on her nose, "or does this have to do with that errand that you were doing for Mr. Hanekoma?"

"Eh… something like that," Neku muttered. "Ah… this is Joshua. I'll explain more when," he looked up, the bell jangling over the door. "Never mind, everyone's here now. Guess I can explain things before too much happens."

"What's this, Phones?" Beat asked, slamming into the seat on the other side of him. "Yo, man—you had Shiki really worried and all and the rest of us weren't too happy, either. Whatcha doing, runnin' off and doing crazy tasks an' all?"

Neku flushed and toyed with the strap of his mp3 player. "Well, um… you all remember the Game some, right?" he asked cautiously, giving Joshua another look. The fact that Shiki didn't recognize Joshua didn't bode well for him.

"Of course, Neku," Rhyme smiled up at him, swinging her feet as she spun around on the stool. "That's how we all became friends."

"I…yeah, well… you never know, right?" he rubbed the back of his head. "Well, um…" this was going worse than telling the Reapers he was Conductor. They _had_ to know and his friends, they didn't really…right? He could pretend? He swallowed. _It wouldn't be fair to them._ "Well, you remember Shades?"

Shiki's face darkened and Beat scowled. "Yeah, we remember him," Beat huffed out. "He da' Conductor, right?" he frowned, "or he was, until we took him out."

Neku nodded, fingers still curled around the lanyard. "Well, um… I found something out. What happens when you kill the Conductor. It's kinda like taking out the Composer." He licked his lips.

"You mean, the person who killed the last Conductor…becomes the new one?" Shiki's eyes went round behind her glasses. "But Neku… that was you… you were the one who really took him out…." Her breath caught. "Oh, Neku… is there any way that you can get out of it? Maybe… find that Composer and explain to him?"

Joshua giggled, covering his mouth with one hand. "Well, Neku could _try_ ," he said with a smirk, resting his cheek on his fist, "but really, power does flow that way for a reason and it would be terrible to see what would happen if Neku went back on his promise now that he's agreed."

Beat turned on him. "And who're you, Prissy, to know so much 'bout it?" he demanded. "You was all quiet back there until now. Spill."

Joshua stood up gracefully. "I'm just someone that's been…observing the UG for quite some time," he said lightly.

"Bull."

"My, Daisukenojo, you are blunt, aren't you?" Joshua observed his nails, ignoring the blustered, angry outburst from Beat. "Fine—I suppose Neku would tell you eventually and I hate to be upstaged by my Conductor. Neku had two days to decide whether he was going to officially take the position or not—and he deliberated for all of… was it a day, Neku?" he questioned, tilting his head and earning a growl from Neku. "Yes, then—a day to become the Conductor of Shibuya."

Shiki stood in front of Neku protectively. "You can't just… _do_ that to him," she protested. "Neku worked harder than any of us to come back to life and you… you do _this_ to him? What kind of jerk are you anyway?"

"Shiki… it's okay," Neku put a hand on her arm, shaking her head. "I never won the Game and Joshua offered me a better option than just a regular Reaper or Noise." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, eyes hidden. "And… it's not so bad. I mean… I've only been doing it for a few days, but…" He looked up and gave her a half-smile. "I can already hear Music."

Rhyme bit her lip, having already stopping her spinning and Beat simply looked bewildered. "You always listenin' to music, though—" he crossed his arms over his chest. "Always listenin' to those headphones of yours."

"It's a different type of Music," Neku wasn’t sure how to explain, he wasn't even sure what he meant yet. "It's like… the city making its own music, you know?"

Rhyme suddenly clapped her hands together. "Like the opposite of the Noise we fought, right?" she asked slowly.

"Something like that, I guess…" Neku shrugged. "I don't exactly know how to explain it, but… the Game's not so bad, looking at it from the outside."

Beat clearly thought he was crazy still, huffing and crossing his arms, frowning at Joshua and then at Neku. "I still think you're crazy, Phones," he muttered. "I mean…that game really sucked, you know?"

Neku bit his lip again. "And we didn't have to play it," he said suddenly, "we didn't have to be offered second chances, but we got them. I mean… _most_ of us," he glared at Joshua, "just died because it was supposed to happen and that should have been that. We were given another chance."

"You sayin' Rhyme was sup'sd to get hit by that car, Phones?" Beat demanded, glaring at him. "Why you say that, man?"

Joshua stood between them, answering before Neku could. "Because some people simply die and there is no explanation for it," he said simply. "Accidents happen that no one has a hand in. You and your sister were fated to die the day you did; you simply earned the right through your entry in the Game to make your way back to life."

"Yeah, but…" he looked at Neku, "what about Phones, man? He did a ton of shit and you sayin' that he has to work for you?"

"He wanted to," Joshua bit out, eyes narrowing. "He made the conscious decision to be my Conductor."

"Guys, really… it's true. I really…" his look turned pleading. "You're not going to shut me out just because…because I'm," he stared at each of them in turn, eyes searching. "Come on, you wouldn't do that, right?" he asked. "I mean, we're still friends and all and I haven't changed. Not really."

Except that he could see their Music more now, feel it—watched it build in little eddies. It wasn't as strong as the Reapers and a lot of it was suppressed by whatever force was around the café, but it was there.

Shiki smiled softly, fingers wrapped around each other as she looked up at him. "As long as you don't shut us out," she said firmly. "Just because you're going to be the big, bad Conductor doesn't mean you can shut _us_ out. We won't treat you any different, right guys?" She looked at Rhyme and Beat, as if daring them to disagree.

Beat held up his hands. "Yo, Phones is Phones, ya know?" he asked. "I don't get all this Conductor and music stuff and whatnot—I thought it sucked as a Reaper, yo—but jus' don't go giving orders to off your friends and I'm cool with it."

Rhyme nodded. "You'll still be our friend, Neku," she said seriously. "But…you're going to be busy for awhile, aren’t you?" she looked up at Joshua, then at Neku. "I mean…Shibuya's kind of a big area and…the Game is really important, right?"

Joshua nodded, expression clearing from its earlier annoyance at this admittance. "Yes, it is very important and Neku has a lot to learn," he said seriously. "But …" his smile turned wry, "I think he'd hurt me if I didn’t let him see his friends once in awhile."

"Damn straight," Neku glared at him. "It's not like I'm some pet or toy for you to keep locked away."

"It never occurred to me, Neku," Joshua leaned back against the wall, hands in his pockets again. "But I do warn you—the start of your training last night was only the start—controlling Music is instinctive in many ways, it's your power that we need to work on."

"Neku was always strong," Shiki offered. "I mean—he never had any trouble using the pins." She gave a smile.

Neku flushed and Joshua gave a delighted clap. "Exactly," he said with a smile. "I couldn't let such talent go to waste, right?"

"I still think you had some creepy plan to keep him or somethin'," Beat muttered.

"You think far too much into it, Daisukenojo," Joshua waved it off. "Don't worry about such things."

"So does this mean…no trips for awhile?" Rhyme asked. "Or… going shopping or the skate park?" She looked sad.

Neku bit his lip. "Not until I learn how to…change my Frequency," he said slowly. "It's harder than it seems." He remembered _how_ hard it was to try and reach for that mental dial and grimaced. "Really—that's why we're here. Reaper's signal down tunes us automatically."

"We just got to see you again, though—" Shiki protested.

"Neku, I already told you I would down tune you for your friends," Joshua gave a sigh, "so none of these pathetic looks. Really, it doesn't suit any of you to stare at me as if _I'm_ a villain in this."

No one remembered what Joshua had done to him—to all of them—at the end and Neku wasn't about to bring it up now. He instead just gave Joshua a long look. "I…I would appreciate it," he said, gaze meeting Joshua's for a moment before he looked back at the ground.

"At least you seem to appreciate me, Neku," Joshua said easily, brushing his hands down Neku's shoulders, the touch lingering for an instant more than Neku thought was strictly necessary, but he _felt_ the power retract and he staggered slightly. It had only been a few days he had this power and he already felt like it was an undeniable part of him. It felt weird to be suddenly cut off from it.

"Just hurry home," Joshua lilted, patting his cheek. "Don't stay out too late or else I'll have to come find you." His gaze met Neku's. "And no trying to leave Shibuya, Neku. You know what happened last time."

Everyone looked at Neku, then at Joshua. Neku grimaced. "I know, I know…" he muttered. "I don't want to meet that scary Composer in Shinjuku anyway."

Beat was already dragging Neku away from Joshua and yanking him out the door. "Phones be cool, prissy," he called back. "We take good care of _our_ friends."

Rhyme gave Joshua an apologetic look and sighed as she ran after her brother, Shiki offering a shy wave as she joined the others.

~

Neku was aware that even with his Frequency forced down to the level of the RG, he could still sense everything around him. The UG was overlaid on the RG like a heat shimmer, not quite snapping into focus, but it was obvious that something else was there. The Players and the Reapers he could see clearly; they were almost more real to him than his friends and that disturbed him a little.

"So Phones… you really… you really the Conductor an' all?" Beat asked, shifting his board from one hand to the other. "Yo, man… if you can, I'd get outta that job. Composer's kinda whacked, you know? Reapers be after him, trying to take him down."

"That's him," Neku shrugged. "Not me—I… I told you, I really don't mind. It's different and… well, you guys aren't going to abandon me and…" he gave a faint smile. "Someone needs to look after Shibuya to make sure it doesn't fall apart when the Composer has another sudden urge."

Shiki giggled at the image. "It was because of him that the Game was so weird, right?" she asked. "I don't remember much of what happened right before… well, before everything turned back to normal, but I remember that other Conductor talking about a bet he was having with the Composer." She twirled her hair, head tilted to the side. "You're not going to be making bets are you, Neku?" she teased.

"God, no—" Neku shuddered. "That was one condition I already set down."

"You made conditions with… with the Composer?" Rhyme asked, eyes wide.

"Well, he's still just Josh and he needs to be taken down a few pegs. Shades kissed his ass too much and look where it almost got Shibuya," Neku crossed his arms. "I've got better sense than that."

"Good—you be thinkin' straight when this Composer is acting like the prissy bitches he is," Beat smacked his back hard, nearly sending Neku staggering. "We be here for you too, Phones. Don't forget that there's like… normal people out there 'sides those weirdo Reapers."

Neku couldn't help but grin, relaxing more and more with their acceptance. "Yeah… I won't forget."

~

They spent the day shopping, going in and out of various electronic stores and clothing shops, talking with the clerks they had met during the Game (although they only recognized Neku, no one else) and Neku occasionally spotting a Player.

It was clear that even though he was down-tuned to the RG, the Reapers still saw him and knew him as the Conductor and he was aware of them watching him, assessing him and he wanted to just shout at all of them to mind their damn business and leave him alone while he was _trying_ to be normal.

He could sense the Players and the Noise and he ignored them as best as he could, but couldn't help but flinch at the static that cut across his senses at the loss of a Player.

"Neku?" Rhyme asked, eyes looking up at his. He just shook his head and patted her head absently.

"It's nothing," he murmured, but his eyes strayed to the remaining despondent Player and he walked up to them.

"Go to the WildKat café," he said firmly. "If you value your life, get running _now_." The Player opened his mouth to ask question but Neku shoved at him. " _Move_ it," he exclaimed. "You only have seven minutes."

That gave the man the incentive to run and it was only after he was gone that Neku realized his friends were staring at him. He flushed. "I wanted to give them a chance," he muttered.

"You alright there, Phones. Glad to see that bein' the Conductor hasn't like… warped you or something," Beat was grinning widely now at this display that Neku wasn't totally changed.

"Jeez, I'm the Conductor, not some monster," Neku muttered.

No one talked about the last Conductor. For all his good intentions, he had been a monster in the end.

~

It was Shiki who asked about his family—her voice hesitant, eyes flicking up to his as he stared off, biting his lip. "Have you…been home at all?" she asked carefully.

Neku shook his head. "Didn't really have the time," he said slowly, "been trying to get used to the trick Joshua pulled on me," his look turned wry, but it was almost painful, "but I know my parents found out that I died," he stared at the ground. "Joshua robbed my place to give me my room."

His friends' looks were filled with disbelief. "He… robbed …to…."

Neku couldn't help but grin at their looks. "Yeah—he wanted to make me feel more comfortable," he said, shaking his head.

"Wow, that's like… almost a human thing for him to do," Shiki giggled, muffling the sound behind her hand. "Really really weird way of going about it, but … he was trying to … be nice." She was trying hard to muffle the rest of her laughter. "He…he really doesn't get out much, does he?" she asked.

Neku shook his head, eyes bright. "No… I don't think he does. He acted like it was perfectly normal to have transplanted my old bedroom to my new one."

"Well, you'll make him act like a normal person." She grinned. "And Neku," she said, expression growing more serious, "we're going with you if you go to your house. You can't be expected to go alone and I don't trust that Composer of yours yet to have the social skills to be kind about it."

Neku grimaced, remembering Joshua's blunt words about friendships and why they weren't worth it. "Yeah… I'd like my friends to be with me when I go."

Shiki threaded her arm in his as they walked together through Shibuya's busy streets, chattering about what new design that Eri had come up with –"You really should see it, Neku," she bubbled. "She really is so talented, just like I told you—" she dug out her phone. "See—this is just the sketch of it," but…"

Neku was vaguely aware of the shimmer around her increasing as she spoke, laying out the design and flipping through the pictures, showing different parts of the outfit. "And I was going to work on the sewing of it, of course—was going to buy some fabric today and you'll help me, right, Neku?" she asked.

Neku nodded, smiling and it was simply her words and dreams of what she imagined was going to be created out of Eri's designs that improved the strands of Music woven in Shibuya. It was startling and it suddenly hit him how much further apart from them they he was now. Before, he couldn't see this potential, read it in the air… hear the Music of it. But now, it was obvious.

 _You did a good job, Joshua,_ he thought idly, listening to her talk and offering the occasional comment, _bringing them back—their ambitions is what improves Shibuya, doesn't it? Just by being here and working on those dreams of theirs…_.

"Yo, Shiki—slow down a bit, would you--?" Beat laughed and slung an arm around their shoulders. "You talking Phone's ears off—breathe, girl."

Shiki flushed to the roots of her hair. "Oh…I didn't realize, Neku… I'm sorry, I was just excited to see you…"

Neku laughed and shook his head. "Nah, I'm enjoying myself," he grinned. It was strange—he had shut people out so much before, didn't want to hear them talking or listen to them babble about their dreams, but now—part of him drank it in and it wasn't just because they were his friends.

He pushed that part of him to the back of his mind and focused on the now, but the conversation was starting to falter a little as they came closer to his old home and he swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous and then he realized—

"Uh, guys… I'm dead to my dad," he grimaced. "What is he going to think with me showing up and really alive looking?"

"Oh," Beat rubbed the back of his head. "I don' know, man—but---you won't know until you try, right?" he asked.

"It's not like I'm going inside," Neku tried to reason. "I mean…that would be really weird and all—" he already knew his room was empty, courtesy of Joshua, so it wasn't as if he had a reason to go back inside. It wasn't as if his dad had been really warm and caring and he had hardly ever been _there_ but it was a part of his life that Neku hadn't quite said good bye to yet.

"But nothing, Phones—" Beat tugged him along, oblivious to Neku's protests. "It'll work out, yo—maybe there's some sorta heebie jeebie thing goin' on there that like… prevents him from seeing you. I mean, the clerks in da stores and all didn't freak when they saw us and some of us knew us, man."

Neku blinked. "I… I guess you're right," he said and it would be just like Joshua to have that sort of condition or maybe even Mr. H—it would prevent the Players from going home or trying to contact their families after they died, kept the Reapers from trying to assume their old lives again.

Still… it was bizarre to walk past his apartment as if he were a perfect stranger. He didn't expect much, the door wasn't even open and he gave it a look as he paused by it. The flowers were still growing in their pots and the door scrubbed down. There was no car in the driveway and he realized belatedly that his dad wouldn't even be home—it was still summer vacation for the schools, but that didn't mean that adults stopped at work. His father had rarely been home, even before Neku's death.

He was about to shrug it off and walk away, when the crunch of gravel met his ears and he turned to meet the startled gaze of his father pulling in beside the house. Neku waited with wide eyes as his father stepped out, hands at his sides as he looked over all of them.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, gaze lingering on each of them briefly, no special attention paid to any of them, "were you looking for someone?" His hand tightened on the briefcase at his side and Neku swallowed.

Shiki spoke up first, patting Neku's hand. "We were Neku's friends …" she said softly.

Neku kept his gaze turned away as his father sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Neku has friends?" he asked, the surprise clearly in his voice and not registering the past tense of the sentence. "He never mentioned… I always thought since…" Neku's eyes widened. _Oh, please don't blab about that, dad_ , he thought frantically. _They don't need to know…_

"Well, it's been a long time. I'm sure you know my son better than I do." Neku saw how tired his father looked—as if he was straining at the edges. "I haven't been home for awhile—I don't know if he's here or not."

Neku stared, he couldn't help it. His father hadn't realized… he didn't know… _how_ could he not know that his only child was _dead_? He felt a surge of irrational anger. Was his work so important that he never checked in, never was told that there was no Neku anymore? Shiki squeezed his hand and Beat growled.

"Yo, man—I don' know what your problem is, but Neku, man—he ain't," he stole a look at Neku, "you don't know?" he finally asked. He was at a loss for words.

"Know what?" he asked, unlocking the door and gesturing for them to come in, toeing off his shoes as he walked down the hallway to the kitchen, setting his bag aside. "I've been away on business for the last half year, Neku checks in if there are any problems of course—"

Rhyme cleared her throat. "Mr. Sakuraba… Neku… Neku died about a month ago," she whispered. "No…no one ever told you?"

The man paused, hands resting on the suitcase, only Neku was close enough to see the trembling. "Nonsense—Neku is smarter than that, he wouldn't get tangled up in anything to get himself killed. Really—you're not very good friends if you are being so disrespectful of my son and telling me such things about him."

"It's true," Neku said shortly, hands in his pockets and staring directly at his father. "He got… shot in Udagawa." His lips turned downward. "Caught in the crossfire between two people, the paper said." So he was lying a little—he wouldn't do to tell him that the Composer of the dead of the city had decided to kill him just to play a game.

"Neku….did?" his father's voice was quieter now, opening the door that was once Neku's room—Neku gave a mental groan-- _Good going, Joshua. Really make it seem as if the place was robbed--_ , but everything seemed normal there. All of his stuff _seemed_ to be there, but Neku's lips turned upward faintly at the illusion. _Clever_ , he had to admit.

It was so quiet, though and it was obvious no one had been in here. Rhyme held onto Beat's hand tightly and Shiki held Neku's while he tried to wrap his brain around the fact that his father hadn't even realized that he died.

"Was there a funeral?" he asked shortly; face pale now but voice still calm, controlled.

"Yes, sir," Shiki murmured. "The city … it was the least they could do…"

He gave another nod. "Thank you for telling me," he said, voice bland now—hiding any real emotion. "If you don't mind, I would like to be alone now."

The four of them nodded and Shiki squeezed Neku's hand again as he walked out in a daze. He suddenly couldn't—he didn't want to be—here anymore. "I… I gotta go," he said quickly. "Just…"

"We understand," Shiki gave him a tight hug, Beat patting his back awkwardly and Rhyme hugging him around the waist, lip sticking out. "Neku… I'm sorry," she said. "We had no idea, I mean…"

"It's not like any of us have been out of the Game that long, right?" Neku forced a smile, but it slipped after a moment. "He's always gone, I'm not surprised." It hurt, though—a pain twisting in his chest that his only family hadn't known, hadn't cared to find out why Neku hadn’t called in a month, hadn't listened to what must have been some sort of message talking about his death.

The sun was setting now, oranges and golds filling the sky and Neku closed his eyes, swallowing. "You guys better get home," he said weakly. "It's getting late and your parents will be worried," he bit his lip.

"Neku…" Shiki looked uncertain for a moment. "You do have a place to go home to, too," she said softly. "That Joshua…he's waiting for you, right?"

Neku gave a snort at the idea of Joshua being a welcoming presence, but that part of him that he had pushed aside for the day rose to the surface again, the Conductor part of himself that could read people and held that tie to the Composer.

It was at that moment that Uzuki sauntered up to him, smirking and crossing her arms against her chest. "If it isn't our _dear_ Conductor and his little friends," she purred. "Slumming in the RG?" She was satisfied that only Neku could see and hear her.

"What is your obsession with me that you keep following me around?" Neku demanded. "First as a Player and now that I'm the Conductor? Got a crush on me, Pinky?" he taunted.

It was satisfying to see her face turn scarlet with anger and Neku didn't hold back his grin.

"I'm just giving you a report," she snapped. "You're not my type, you're too scrawny," she huffed. "As the Conductor," she said gleefully, "you have to take the reports of how many Players or Reapers were Erased and how it happened. I want my promotion, _Phones_ ," she hissed out. "So you better tally my points right."

Neku gave her a bland stare. "And I would know this how?" he asked. "I wasn't watching the Game today and I really don't care at the moment."

"That's why I'm giving you the information," she rolled her eyes and thrust a few sheets of paper into his hands. "Read it, scrawny and work out the details." She smirked and blew a kiss towards Beat, who couldn't see it. "Ta-ta."

Neku sighed and looked at the papers in his hands, rubbing his forehead at the musical scrawl, all notes and harmonies, twisted symphonies and abrupt stops. "This is going to give me a headache," he muttered after Uzuki had left.

"Phones… you was talking to Pinky?" Beat shivered. "What she want with you?"

Neku held out the papers. "Part of my job, I'm guessing," he grimaced. "Anyways—you were right, Shiki—it's not much of a home, but… it's something, at least." He gave a faint smile. "I'll turn up again as soon as I can. I promise."

Shiki nodded. "You better—we know how to find you now," she teased.

"You going to go sewer-walking?" he teased.

"Only for you, Neku," she kissed his cheek. "Take care, okay?"

He nodded and they headed to the River, the three of them halting at the wall that kept even the living out, while Neku pressed his hand against it, listening to the buzz of Music that held it together. He said his good-byes, walking backward and watching their faces until the darkness swallowed him up.

~

He didn't expect to see Joshua in the main entry way, slumped over the couch and surrounded by sheet music—it covered every surface and a few pieces were held loosely in one hand as other papers covered him. He even looked to be sleeping on some and Neku thought that Joshua had never looked so peaceful, surrounded by all that music. He didn't think Joshua could wear that expression.

 _Perhaps it won’t be so bad_ , he mused, sitting down next to Joshua and shifting some of the music to the side. If Joshua could have moments like these—albeit, ones where he was dead asleep and not making sarcastic remarks—then there was hope for improvement.

Neku rested next to his Composer, eyes sliding shut, still tuned at the RG level and the effects of it wearing on his body. He only intended to close his eyes for a moment, but ended up falling asleep next to Joshua, both of them surrounded by the sheet music.


	9. Falling Into Your Mind, Memories Stretch On Forever

Neku was still awake before Joshua—by some miracle or Joshua was simply playing him, Neku didn't know, but he was curious enough now about the reams of sheet music that he had to pick a few pages up, wondering what exactly this music was for. He wasn't sure if he could read it, but it couldn't hurt to try and he was curious.

He traced over the notes, fingers lightly following each section and as he did, he felt that weird Music surround him again, and if he closed his eyes…just reached out a little—he wasn't even sure what he was doing or what he was reaching for, really, until he latched onto it. His eyes widened.

It was Joshua's story. He could pick out verses here and there—when he was alive, what his life was like…but Neku was seized with the sudden desire to know more, to finally understand Joshua and his reasons behind a lot of what he did. Without really knowing what he was doing, he fell into the Music.

~

 _A courtyard—one that he remembered from a school trip from years ago, but this one was much busier, the gravel gone and dusty walkways in its place. No one seemed to notice him and he moved through the people as if were smoke—or like he was back in the Game again, but he knew this was different. This was Joshua's memories, a piece of his past—Neku followed the line of Music to where Joshua was._

 _He found himself outside one of the myriad rooms, looking inside at a small child—barely three, Neku guessed, with Joshua's pale hair and lavender eyes. He wasn't alone, someone who had to be a caretaker of some sort in the room next to him. "I don't know why they have me looking after him," she tossed her hair back. "He may be the lord's heir, but look at him. He's a monster-child. The Lord and Lady should just be rid of such a shameful thing."_

 _She was uncaring of the boy's watchful stare or unknowing that he seemed to be comprehending the harsh words with perfect clarity. There was no expression on his face, violet eyes trained on a spot for away. Neku stared at this young version of Joshua, hardly able to believe his eyes or his ears at the way he was treated._

 _"Shh—" another maid or servant and Joshua looked up briefly. "If the others hear you talking about the young lord like this, you'll lose your place. Yoshia is a quiet child, at least," she murmured. "Stares into space as if the scenery beyond is more fascinating, but at least he isn't the type to scream and throw fits."_

 _Neku tuned them out as he knelt next to the child-Joshua, barely more than a baby. He was astonished when Joshua looked back, eyes too old for such a young face. "Are you dead, too?"_

 _Neku wasn't sure how to respond, astonished that this Joshua even saw him, wondering just what this Music was that he tangled himself up in. He tried to pull himself out, moving note by note. He only managed to find another verse and skipped down through the years in a rush of Music, the sounds blurring together too quickly to make a distinct line out until he landed in another memory—another strain of the past._

 _It was a different place—still formal and Joshua was in front of him, fingers delicately moving over the strings of a shaminsen, an actual smile on his face as he concentrated. It wasn't a smirk or anything bitter; it was obvious he was actually enjoying himself. He was older now—just by a few years, but the talent in the way the still-young fingers plucked out a melody was obvious._

 _"Lovely," a voice near Neku murmured and he jumped a little; he was practically standing inside the formal kimono, the edges of the fan actually through his hair. "His looks are strange, but he does have talent. At least he will be of some use, if only ornamental. My Lord will never allow something such as him into battle."_

 _"You're still having him taught in the art of war, though…?" a lady asked behind her fan and Neku could see the amused smirk on her face. "It would be a shame to have another mark against the Kiryuu name—"_

 _"Of course he is being trained in the art of the sword," the first said sharply. "It would be a disgrace if he did not know at least the most rudimentary skills of battle. Even if he is a sickly, strange child—he is still a man and he will know how to defend his people and uphold his family honor."_

 _"Well, you have heard the rumors, have you not?" the second lady asked, twitching her fan in a nervous movement. "Those groups are getting stronger—who knows where they're going to show up next—" she shivered. "It's a frightening prospect; samurai discarding honor so easily—"_

 _"Those peasant rebellions and now foreigners coming to our shores," there was a collective shiver from all the women there. "Barbarians invading our culture, changing our ways –" she sniffed and Neku blinked, trying to place the time, mind rapidly going through his history lessons._

 _"You better hope that the rebellions are put down, or else you will find yourself in serious disfavor of our government," a small, delicate boned lady said softly. "The leyasu does not take traitors lightly—"_

 _"And the Emperor would be any different?"_

 _"I'm just warning you to be careful as to what side you pick."_

 _"It's a shame he wasn't born a girl—and you'll never hear me saying this to my husband—but what point is there in a weak boy? At least the girl would bring in good marriages, but a child whose only talent and ambition lays in music…"_

 _"Ah, yes—a warrior child, ready to rise to the cause would be so much better…"_

 _Neku rapidly put the pieces together and swallowed. Joshua had been alive during the last gasp of the Tokugawa Shogunate—right before the collapse and the Emperor Meiji restored to his throne. It was no wonder he first saw him at the Imperial Palace in Kyoto—_

 _He moved away from the gossiping women and sat down next to Joshua. "You play it well," he said, unsure if Joshua could hear him or not, if the earlier reaction had been just a fluke or a misinterpreted look._

 _Joshua didn't look up at him, but a small twitch of his lips said that he'd heard something and Neku wondered what had happened—besides who knew how many years of ruling Shibuya—to change Joshua from this boy to the arrogant jackass he was now. He followed the Melody again._

 _\--_

 _This time, Joshua was closer to the age he knew—still younger, perhaps around ten or twelve—Neku really wasn't the best judge of age, especially when the boy in front of him wore such a serious expression on his face, moving through the movements of an exercise with his sword. Each movement was precise and Neku was taken aback by how skilled Joshua looked with the sword. Before, he couldn't imagine Joshua with anything less subtle than a gun, but this seemed to fit him in ways that Neku couldn't explain and felt…distant from Joshua, this person that lived in a time so far apart from his own, with traditions and lifestyles alien to beyond what Neku could imagine._

 _He watched as Joshua moved fluidly from one step to the next, each movement blurring into the next pattern, and when Joshua finally came to a rest, Neku had an urge to clap, impressed with his skills. Joshua met his gaze squarely and he flicked his gaze to the side, determining that there was no one close enough to hear him._

 _"What are you still doing here? The rest of the dead vanish within seven days and you are not one of those that chase the dead."_

 _Neku gave his own furtive look around before answering, even if no one was supposed to be able to see him…"Actually, I am in a way," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "But I'm not staying. I just… it's not important. I just wanted to see something."_

 _"What do you mean by that? I remember you from when I was a child—" it was clear, however young Joshua was now, he didn't see himself as a child any longer. "Why have you been watching me?" he demanded. "Have out about it, I do not enjoy seeing the dead and having one stalking me is not a favorable choice, either."_

 _"I know of you, that's all," Neku muttered, staring at the ground. "I just," he bit his lip. "Just…be careful." He couldn't get the image of Joshua with the sword out of his mind. Joshua gave him a surprised look, opening his mouth to ask him just what he meant, but Neku grabbed another strand of verse and moved further along in the composition._

 _When he got back, he would have to ask Joshua if he still had a sword, still practiced in any way. Joshua's brows together in irritation, opening his mouth to demand answers when Neku pulled away again._

 _\--_

 _The setting was different yet again, but this time wildly different—Kyoto was no longer Joshua's home it seemed, but Tokyo now was. With a sinking heart, Neku realized that Joshua was fifteen or close to it now—looking very much the age he had assumed when Neku knew him._

 _He looked so serious, so adult that Neku was surprised. He was standing in front of a young lady, whose head was bowed slightly._

 _"It is just a short business venture with a neighboring lord," he waved it away. "Father wanted me to go so that I could get used to the duty of ruling an estate—but I will be back shortly." His smile was almost kind as he patted her hand. "After all, I do have a wife to return to—"_

 _She blushed and turned her face away. "Your duty is more important," she said, voice soft and careful in its speech. "But return home safely."_

 _He nodded."I promise."_

 _Neku followed Joshua, who was again aware of his presence. "You seem to be following me a great deal," he said lightly, mouth hardly moving. "Do you have some special interest in me?" He was striding to the courtyard, where his horse and escort was waiting. Neku's eyes went wide at seeing a very different version of Mr. Hanekoma there. "My consultant," Joshua explained under his breath and Neku nodded. It figured—_

 _"Kiryuu-sama, we should go," Hanekoma nodded and Joshua gave Neku a bland stare before turning and mounting the horse._

 _"Perhaps I'll see you again," he nodded and then followed Hanekoma down the road. Neku had a sinking feeling that the next time he saw Joshua, the boy would be in the UG. It was just a feeling he had or perhaps it was the discordant Music around the other—_

 _\--_

 _The melody had jerked so abruptly, Neku found himself nearly yanked out of the entire composition, but he opened his eyes to see Joshua standing over him, eyes blazing._

 _"You didn't tell me I was going to die," he hissed out. "You stay around me for most of my life and you neglect to tell that I was going to die?"_

 _"Everyone dies," Neku grumbled, still feeling dizzy until his body adjusted to the new song. It still wasn't quite as close to the Joshua he knew, but it was closer now. It was startling to feel that he wasn't as powerful…_

 _"You knew, though—" Joshua snapped. "Now here, I am—running around with some commoner, completing tasks that are suited more for commoners than a person of my position—"_

 _"Keep up with that attitude, Josh," Neku rolled his eyes._

 _"…Josh?" his eyebrows drew together in confusion. "You do speak rather strangely, but nicknames that my mother gave me out of spite…" he looked even more annoyed. "This game demands a contract between two parties and I am going to choose you. You should be honored."_

 _Neku smirked and stepped back. "Don't think so, Joshua," he shook his head. "You have to find your own partner—I can't play in any of the Games, against the rules." It wasn't just that he wanted to be smug about it—it was also his strong feeling that the Conductor from a future point in time being partnered with the future Composer of Shibuya would raise a few eyebrows and the consequences could get rather ugly. It was obvious he was a little more here than just viewing the past._

 _"You want me to just fade away with…" he ducked and swung at a creature aiming towards him, but he didn't have any affect. Neku turned and spotted a wavery form and shoved Josh toward it. "Make a pact—now—and I'll show up again later, I'm sure."_

 _Joshua growled, but it was obvious that Neku wasn't going to budge and was stronger than him—at least at the moment—and went and grabbed another person, not even announcing his intention before the pact was formed. Neku stared at the creatures—straight out of a Japanese horror story, but they couldn't touch him either. Still, he didn't want to stick around. He knew that Joshua would be fine and survive the week out._

 _He was interested in the Game, though—it seemed different, yet the same from the Game he knew—but he suspected that Joshua was already making notes of imperfections and finding ways to improve them._

 _\--_

 _This time, Neku found himself a silent observer in front of Joshua, young, serious looking partner of his, and what had to be the Composer of this time. She was dressed elegantly in a silk kimono that trailed behind her, hiding a coy smile behind a fan—it seemed that she had died and ascended to the position of Composer as a lady—or she had just decided to adopt that position with her status._

 _Either way, she was of a more…refined breed than Joshua's mother seemed to be—from an older time for certain and she was graceful in every deliberate movement that she made to the two that awaited her judgment._

 _Joshua seemed to have little trouble looking at her, but the other boy couldn't seem to get his eyes to settle, shading his eyes a little. Neku detected the power around her and gave Joshua a speculative glance. His own Soul had grown stronger during this time, something that Neku could visibly see. Whatever this Game was like, it had been good for Joshua._

 _"You two are the only survivors—congratulations on taking down the enemy and those that were also vying for this chance—marvelous work, the two of you."_

 _Joshua gave her a bored look and she lowered the fan to give him a proud smile. "Most dedicated and ruthless," she murmured, "especially you, Yoshiya Kiryuu. We could use people like you in our…circle." She held out a hand to him. "Would you be interested in a higher calling than that mortal life you ended?"_

 _He flicked a gaze to his partner. "I take it that both of us have an equal chance of regaining our lives then?" he asked, the corner of his mouth turning up slightly. "My, my… and here I thought that I had managed to surpass even my partner."_

 _"You did," she nodded, "which is why the choice is yours. Would you become one of our hunters and play a more…hm...active role in this game of ours?" She snapped her fan shut, holding out slim fingers. "I assure you, it will be well worth it in the end. You, Yoshiya, are wasted on simply living."_

 _Joshua gave her a long, thoughtful look, then nodded. "I accept," he said airily. "Send my partner back; I think I will enjoy this new role." His eyes met Neku's and a darker smile curled on his lips. "It will be interesting to have more power for my needs…"_

 _She gave him an approving look. "Good," she murmured. "Wait here while I take care of your dear partner and we shall get you situated into your new life. I have no doubts that you will exceed my fondest expectations for you."_

 _She gestured to the tea table and indicated he should sit and wait for her return. One of Neku's eyebrows rose as he took it in. It seemed some people were treated better when they got offered a job into the Reapers or whatever their name was at this time. Neku snorted faintly, it was a shame that Joshua couldn't have kept at least some of this courtesy. It sure as hell beat getting shot._

 _Joshua sat down gracefully and waited, palms on his thighs. It was strange to see that sort of patience, that … acceptance that wasn't in the visual memory of the Joshua he knew. It was obvious that Joshua was wary of his surroundings, though and was trying to ignore Neku._

 _Neku grinned though, sitting across from Joshua. "Well, I see you're starting off at the bottom—"_

 _Joshua gritted his teeth, looked around and spoke without moving his lips, his voice a bare whisper. "I know that I need to be trained sufficiently before to earn a higher position."_

 _"Wow, I'm shocked you can realize that," Neku snorted, but he was aware that he wasn't dealing with the Joshua he knew, a Joshua that had over a hundred years of experience in the UG, if not as the Composer—yet. He couldn't imagine Joshua trying to fight this Composer, who could flatten him like a bug if she so chose. Neku had to respect the power that even he could feel, a shadow visitor to this time._

 _"Go away," Joshua waved a hand at him, "or be silent at the very least. There will be business to conduct and I surely do not need some pitiful excuse for the wandering dead chatting incessantly in my ear."_

 _Neku gave a shrug and settled himself against the wall. He would watch, at least—it would be an educational experience. They didn't have to wait long for the Composer to return—it was strange, he mused to himself, that she was taking such a personal interest, but as he strained to hear the Music around them, he couldn't catch the separate Music of a Conductor; it was all wrapped up in what the Composer wielded._

 _"So, young Yoshiya…are you prepared to become one that hunts Souls?" she murmured. "Become a part of the intricate ceremony?"_

 _"It does seem the optimal choice," Joshua hummed lightly, lips tilted upward. "If my Lady so wishes, I accept." He accepted the cup of tea, turning it the required amount of times before taking a sip. Neku felt the power shiver in the room, the sheer potential overwhelming as it surrounded Joshua._

 _"Really, really got gypped here," Neku muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. "A little ceremony wouldn't have hurt…" Joshua gave no sign that he heard Neku; he actually might not have, the power was that overwhelming._

 _The Composer looked pleased as well at the delicate wings arching from Joshua's back. "Mm…so much power there, young one—come now—we'll introduce you to your superiors." She held out a hand, a dazed looking Joshua accepting it. Neku tried to follow, but the Music twisted again and he fell further in_

 _\--_

 _It wasn't too far this time—but Neku noted Joshua's power was strong—so very strong now, and his wings were curled further and more intricate than before. It was a small gathering of Reapers—Officers, Neku noted, and the Composer._

 _"Many sections of this new Tokyo have expanded into smaller villages—the need to govern these areas grows by the day." The others around the Composer nodded. "I have called you here today because of that need—you are my strongest Officers and we have been given special permission…" here her lips curved upward, "to reassign you to the status of Composer in your own villages."_

 _Dead silence met this statement—this apparently wasn't a normal procedure at all and even Neku was stunned at the proclamation. These officers—most of them were too well-bred to break out into debate, but Joshua simply raised an eyebrow, speaking into the quiet._

 _"So, when are we to be reassigned and what are our new locations?" he asked. "I assume that the power we carry with us will be our own--?"_

 _"Exactly, Yoshiya—" she gave him a pleased smile. "Now, the places you are to go to are small—everything, even our city started out that way, but you will build your power, your officers and your lower reapers easier this way," she looked at all of them. "It is a disappointment to lose any one of you, but I know that you will do go in the expansion of Music."_

 _Interesting that it was called Music, even then, Neku noted._

 _"Yoshiya—there is a small village—very new, really, called Shibuya. You will be going there. Make you base and start establishing your rules. According to the Angels, no one is scheduled to die for some time, so it gives you the needed amount of time to really set up your Game."_

 _Yoshiya gave a graceful bow. "As you command."_

 _Neku only shook his head. So that was how Joshua started in Shibuya… no fighting, no killing for the seat of the Composer—he was simply handed the job. Neku moved with Joshua to Shibuya._

 _\--_

 _Joshua's Game was easy at first—a lot of the template came from his Composer, but already Neku could see the variations that would become signature of Joshua's current Game and Music---the ever ubiquitous sound that was prevalent in the UG, was more prominent here._

 _Joshua sat in his throne—not a sewer yet—no—but a grander home, invisible to those in the RG and observed Neku. "I am considering a new…variant in the Game," he said lightly, "and since you are so annoyingly persistent and strong in your own right in following me, I shall offer it to you." He crossed his legs, propping his chin up on one hand. "Would you like to be my Conductor?"_

 _"Well, at least you asked this time," Neku snorted. "And the answer is—no. I'm already a Conductor."_

 _Joshua's mouth turned downward. "Impossible, I created the position."_

 _"Believe what you will," Neku grinned outright._

 _"You will become my Conductor," Joshua sat up straight, a petulant frown on his face. "You've intrigued me for years on end and I will have you."_

 _Neku wondered, as the Music pulled him out one more time, if this little trip was the reason why Joshua took him in the future._

~

Neku took in a ragged breath, eyes wide in his face. _What had just happened?_ Joshua was stirring now, opening his eyes to look up at Neku, blinking in surprise. "I see your little outing is over already," Joshua observed and Neku couldn't help but wonder if Joshua meant that … weird trip into Joshua's Music, or the time he spent with his friends.

It was answered when Joshua curled a hand around his wrist, smirking. "I told you that I would have you as my Conductor, Neku."

Well, that answered that question.

"So… I… what I saw, that was really…" Neku stumbled over the words.

Joshua stacked the sheet music neatly. "Mmhm… a little trip into my life. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist peeking in if the music was left out. You did quite well, by the way," he gave Neku an approving smile. "Quite the natural with following somebody's Music so carefully."

Neku flushed and looked away. "It was…sad…in a way," he offered.

"And you only saw a part of it," Joshua raised an eyebrow. "What, no questions over my dear wife?" he asked. "I thought that would be the first question to pass through your lips."

Neku gave an uncomfortable shrug. "Your business for that," he muttered. "I wasn't going to bring it up." He was curious though—what happened to her, how Joshua felt-she never appeared in the strands of Music again after that first time…

"She married someone else," Joshua shrugged, "and I provided her with no heirs. The marriage was terribly new, of course—before I died." He narrowed his eyes at Neku. "Which I am still disappointed that you provided me with no warning."

"Oh, just like you warned me?" Neku growled out.

"I did warn you the second time," Joshua giggled.

Neku gave him a disgusted look. "Going now," he muttered, "to do some real training instead of your little side trip." He stalked out of the room, trying to ignore the fact that Joshua was following him. He was aware of Joshua's presence even stronger in his mind after studying his Music so closely.

Neku was trying to ignore Joshua, but it was hard when the other was like a bright spot In the back of his mind, ever-present and somehow more – and less – annoying than before. He was trying to concentrate, to push down his Frequency to a level that was visible on the RG, so that he could resume school and somewhat of a normal life. It wasn't something he was quite willing to give up.

But it was just as difficult as before, just as much of a strain to grab those strands. It was just so much power and to push it down without any kind of guidance or help made it even more difficult. He wasn't ready to swallow his pride and ask Joshua for help with it; he was _supposed_ to be the Conductor, he should be able to figure this out for himself.

And he wouldn't have Josh be all smug because Neku had to ask for help. It didn't stop Joshua from coming in, though—lips pursed and one hand on his hip. "Really, Neku—you can't keep wearing yourself out like this over one little task. There are many others that are more important than your desire to return to school. You are my Conductor and training for that is most essential."

"I know, I know," Neku muttered, "but you don't understand that my going to school is important, too. Damn it, Josh, I'm not just going to … let it go just because of this. I've told you that before."

"Yes, but it's not like you're going anywhere anytime soon, so why not wait awhile for the upheaval over your death to subside?" Joshua suggested, raising an eyebrow. "Or simply continue studying from here. It's not as if you need some document proving your ability to rationalize. It just shows how you can repeat things like some trained parrot."

Neku's face darkened as he scowled at Joshua. "It may seem that way to you—"

"Neku, really—I'll take you to the school and you can see for yourself, but if you want to wait and see what it would be like to be surrounded by Noise and without the ability to shut it out—" He stepped closer to Neku. "Children—especially those of your age group—generate all sorts of Noise. The drama of grades or those they have crushes on—some bright ones, like yourself—"

"Josh…it's important, okay? I don't like…I don't like starting something and not finishing it." He hunched his shoulders and Joshua sighed.

"Neku, I am being serious, but if you are so determined," he tapped his finger. "Wait one year. That year should give you some basics of your talents and your new position, as well as a firmer grip on your Frequency."

"I don't want to wait a year," Neku protested. He wanted to go now, to continue learning—he hated to be so far behind…

"It simply isn't possible in your current range of talents," Joshua pointed out with that bland tone—that smirk that started to curl the edges of his lips. "Really, Neku—study this first and study your precious lessons on the side. You _do_ need to act as my Conductor, not as my proxy any longer."

"I know that too," Neku snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, "but you sprung this on me, Josh. You tricked me into this job and I didn't have any choice in the matter. I want to continue my life, the one that you stole away from me."

"Hm, you do have a point there," Joshua mused. "But I'll give you a choice, Neku." This was a gamble on his part, he wasn't sure how far along Neku was in some things. "But here is your choice—you can live your normal life for the time you need to graduate high school—what is it, two years?" he asked.

Neku gave a cautious nod, not sure where this was going or if he would even like the end of it, but he would hear Joshua out. "Two and a half, really—cause fall term hasn’t quite started yet."

"Mm, two and a half, then," Joshua corrected. "If you do that, Neku—I'm afraid that I'll have to take away your Music for that time, too. Is that the type of deal you want to make? Wait one year and go to school, keep your Music—or do this school thing now and lose your Music for two and a half years?"

Neku opened his mouth to say it was easy, he could lose his Music and it wouldn't bother him, but some part of him tugged at his insides and his stomach twisted at the thought. He told himself that it couldn't be that bad, but that one part of him knew that it would be terrible—the slight melodies that he heard, his awareness of the City and the people--

"I… Josh, that's not fair," Neku said after a moment.

"Everything in life and death demands a price, Neku—" Joshua shrugged. "You can't get something for nothing; everything needs a sacrifice." He looked off. "My sacrifice to becoming the Composer of Shibuya was to never leave it."

Neku stared at him for a moment, confused and then his eyes widened completely. "N…never?" he asked. "Like when I went into that other…"

"Mmhm… technically, you're allowed to," Joshua said lightly, "but only with express permission, first. Unexpected drop-ins are quite painful and agitate the other Composers a great deal. No one likes people who infringe on their territory." He smirked. "I'm quite pleasant, but there are others…"

"It hurt, though—" Neku pointed out. "Going from one ward to the other—"

"That's because you weren't invited," Joshua gave him an easy smile.

"I also didn't know what or who I was," Neku shot back. "It would have been nice to give me that information before I went off into what was technically enemy territory."

"It was more fun this way," Joshua giggled and Neku rolled his eyes. "Really—what's done is done and you had a very direct lesson as to what was going on." His look was more penetrating. "So, your answer, Neku—" he raised an eyebrow. "What will it be?"


	10. The World Falls Silent, This Might Have Been a Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written awhile ago (say three years) and I'm getting back into the swing of the series again--so hopefully more chapters will pick up after this.

Joshua's question had taken him by surprise; it wasn't that he expected the other to be more accommodating or to phrase things nicer, but it would have been a nice chance. Giving up music, which apparently was what helped him to be the Conductor, or wait a year and live with Joshua during that time.

Neku wasn't sure how to answer —it wasn't something he was prepared to answer. It wasn't that he'd gotten used to the Music-- _not that soon anyway, that's just crazy_ \--but he had a feeling that there was a catch to this question.

"I…I need to think about it first," Neku muttered, staring down at his hands for a moment.

Joshua nodded, pushing his hair back. "Fair enough," he agreed. "Now, I asked you about your one outing; you never told me about how your outing with your friends went. Is there anything that you'd like to tell me, Neku?"

Neku blinked, taken aback by the sudden change of subject, but he gave a cautious nod. He wanted to know more about Joshua's past eventually; if they were going to be living together, then it didn't hurt to ask at some point about the spots that Neku hadn't seen. As for what happened yesterday, there was at least that report that Uzuki gave him—he didn't really have to mention the whole problem with his father to Joshua, but a part of him wanted to, had a feeling that Joshua would understand on some level.

He sat against the floor, leaning back on his hands. "The first part of the day was pretty okay, you know?" he asked. "I still saw the UG and all that and it was weird, but," he swallowed. "We got the idea to see my old house. I wanted to… just one last time." He flashed Joshua a half-grin. "Even if you did rob my room to supply my new one."

Joshua giggled, covering his mouth. "I couldn't let my Conductor feel uneasy in his new surroundings," he said smoothly. "I wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible." His tone was teasing, but his expression serious, obviously waiting for the shoe to drop. "Go on, Neku—you did say you went home. What _did_ you find there?"

Neku cleared his throat. "I… my father pulled up while we were there—but he didn't recognize me. Thought all of us were friends from school or something." Neku gave a snort. "But the worst part…he didn't realize that I had died, Josh." Neku's expression met Joshua's, pained. "He didn't know…you killed me a month ago," Neku gave a bitter laugh, "and he had no idea that his only son, the last bit of family that any of us had…was killed. Gone."

Joshua didn't say anything for several moments, expression drawn inward even as he gazed at his Conductor. "I should have told you," he finally said, "about how people in the RG would perceive you. Your friends are different, because they shared a bond with you from the UG, but family… well, there are restrictions there put in place by a power much higher than my own." He coughed faintly. "For what it's worth, Neku… I _am_ sorry you had to find out this way. Everyone…deserves to have someone mourn them." He reached out and touched Neku's cheek faintly.

Neku barely kept from flinching away. Joshua was trying and he'd be damned if he'd let the Composer one-up him on something on something so simple as even this. "Well… we told him," Neku finished lamely, "and he did seem…bothered by it, but…" he shook his head and forced his tone into something more matter of fact. "Well, after that, Uzuki trotted up and gave me the reports for the UG and Reaper points and stuff like that, and that's it." He didn't mention her attitude; it really wasn't something he honestly cared about. She would either eventually respect him or he'd resort to pulling her proverbial tail in the future just to hear her screech.

"Ah, yes—those reports," Joshua hummed. "I do have to show you how to interpret those so. It's a matter of rearranging the Music so that all the pieces go to their correct spots. Messy, terribly discordant music otherwise." Joshua's face clearly expressed how much he clearly disliked the concept of Music that didn't flow correctly. He tapped the paper. "Normally, you would be observing the Game and making your own reports, but until you're properly trained and educated, we're having the Reapers analyze and bring you the information.

Neku cracked a faint smile at Joshua's expression. "Well, the Music is …" he blinked as it appeared in front of him. He decided not to ask. Not yet—not now. "Well, this is what she gave me," he showed Joshua the messy scrawl of notes. He didn’t have an exact eye for notes and symbols, but even to him it looked like a snarl of information. He was supposed to make actual Music out of _this_?

"Ah, yes—" Joshua hummed faintly, made a face at a sour note, and went on. "Here…sit close to me. You'll naturally be able to make order of this eventually, for now it will take some work. It involves listening to the city a bit."

Neku flushed and looked off, embarrassed to be admitting this. He was supposed to be the _Conductor_ , but he had a slight problem. "Uh, Josh…?" he asked. "I can't read music. Not really, at least; maybe just a little here and there."

Joshua's expression was one that Neku rarely got to see from the other boy and if the situation wasn't at the expense of his incompetence, he would have found it amusing. "You can't read music?" he demanded.

Neku shook his head. "Not really—just listen to it by ear. Can tell right away if something is sour or off tune and how to correct, I just can't read the notes to tell you which ones they are."

Joshua smirked-- _just like Neku knew he would, damn it_ and leaned forward. "Then I guess my little Conductor and I will have a long night of studying ahead of us, won't we?" he purred.

Neku only groaned and hid his head in his hands. It was going to be a long night indeed."

~

It was several hours later and Neku's head was aching from the sheer amount of musical knowledge that Joshua was trying to stuff in there. Joshua had only giggled at Neku's complaints, simply saying that it would all make sense and 'as a Conductor, he had to know everything there was to possibly know.' How Neku was supposed to accomplish that….

"We're only starting with the musical symbols, Neku," Joshua chided. "It's not that difficult to keep up with them, especially if you group them the way I've been teaching you—" Most everything Joshua created was with musical symbols, the way they were grouped together, the pitch and chord and register they were set in. "So, tell me—what _is_ the purpose of this symbol?" he pointed out the caesura.

Neku rubbed a hand over his face, tracing over the double lines. "It's a pause… brief one," he murmured. "Music doesn't start again until the Conductor indicates."

"Very good, Neku," Joshua smiled at him. "You have remembered something," he patted his hand. "Now, do tell me what a dotted note is for."

"Lengthens the note's duration," Neku said quickly, "and the number of them shows by how many. One dot lengthens a note by one-half its value." He didn't want to be quizzed anymore, he just wanted to rest and sleep and not think about the various purposes of rests, where a neutral clef appeared or what the differences were between the demiflat and the flat and what type of music a demiflat was used in.

"Good, good…" Joshua put a hand to his mouth, stifling a yawn. Neku wanted to give a triumphant grin, even _Joshua_ was tired. "You've made remarkable progress, Neku. I'll test you again tomorrow and if you are successful, we'll go onto the next step."

He knew that Neku wouldn't forget—once the knowledge of any type of music was introduced to him, Neku wouldn't forget it; his position as Conductor wouldn’t let him forget—but Neku had to _learn_ it first. He could conceivably go on longer at this, but Neku's concentration was shot and he wanted to rest as well.

Neku made a face and slumped on the floor, not even bothering to get up to his bed. His head felt over-stuffed. "You do realize…" he muttered from his prone position, "that if you had given me time to come to terms with this, maybe train me or something before all these duties came to a head, then we wouldn't have to be doing this?"

"Now, Neku… you know you're much too stubborn for that plan to have worked," Joshua's smile was bland and almost innocent. "This way I've made it a necessity for you to learn this information, instead of just something amusing to pass the time."

"Amusing?" Neku lifted his head long enough to glare at Joshua. "You think this is amusing?" he demanded.

"Considering the way you're reacting," Joshua said thoughtfully, "yes, very much so."

Neku simply rolled his eyes and managed to lever himself up to his feet. "Whatever," he muttered. "I'm going to bed and just… we'll figure out what to do tomorrow about this whole thing." He didn't want to think about it, but he knew, deep down, that this was necessary.

"Sleep well, Neku~" Joshua lilted.

Neku didn't realize it, but if he did choose to make the choice of giving up his Music in exchange for school, it was going to be just that much harder for him now.

~

Neku still couldn't come to a definite conclusion, but with the way Joshua was pushing everything musical on him, Neku couldn't help but think that it would be almost worth it to just escape for a little bit, but even if Neku did choose school, Joshua still had rules for that, beyond the loss of Neku's music for the time he was there.

"You could only choose a school in Shibuya, Neku," Joshua took a sip of coffee as he made notations on a sheet of paper, looking up with an amused expression. "I do understand your other school was outside the boundaries of the ward?"

Neku nodded slowly. "It was in Chiba," he admitted. Not that he really wanted to go back to his old school, not really—it was bad enough that his father never realized his death, it would be even weirder to go to a school where he wasn't himself, where he had _died_ , and frankly, he didn't want to risk the chance that he wasn't missed there, either.

"Was it a dormitory school?" Joshua asked, eyebrow rising. "Chiba isn't exactly…"

"It was a train ride," Neku muttered. "Dad couldn't afford a dormitory so I just got a special pass and took the train every day." It had meant that he couldn't stay after school for a club, even though his homeroom teacher had tried to encourage him to join the music club, meant that the kids thought he was a snob because he lived in Shibuya and didn't seem to want to hang out with the kids in Chiba. "It only took about an hour or so, but I had to get home and do my homework, clean the house and cook, because dad was never home." His voice was rather matter-of-fact.

"Neku…" Joshua observed him for several long moments. "Well, you can join whatever after school club you’d like…" his smile was vaguely teasing, "I won't make you cook for me or yourself." At Neku's snort, Joshua's smile grew. "I'll even let you spend the night at your friend's if you so wish."

Neku raised an eyebrow. "Gee, dad—you're so generous."

"Of course, there are _some_ ground rules," Joshua's voice was still slightly teasing. "You do have to return here—you still have to be trained. Even if your music is taken away from you, it doesn't mean your ability to sense things and to possibly interfere is lessened by a great margin. There is understanding of the rules, history and overall purpose of the Game and the other Games as well."

Neku made a face. "How long did you have to train Megumi?" he muttered.

"Oh, Megumi was a Reaper first, and then an Officer—so he understood a great deal more before he took the position of Conductor. You, my dear Neku are very new still to not only being the Conductor, but this way of life in general. There is much that you have to learn. I can't have my Conductor flitting about with no understanding of the Game he's helping to run."

"Should have thought that before you roped me into this," Neku muttered. "You could have picked an Officer or a Reaper—but no, you had to go on a power trip and take me just because you wanted to. You didn't think about the consequences or even check to see if I could _read music_ , you just acted without thinking. How did you manage to run the Game for so long thinking that way, Josh?" Neku demanded.

Joshua's smile was mischievous. "I always had a good Conductor."

Rolling his eyes, Neku continued. "So you had a good Conductor to make sure that you didn't screw things up—except when you make _bets_ with said good Conductor over the destruction of Shibuya or not."

"Well, I did have a good potential Conductor that made me see reason," Joshua grinned and made another few notations on the paper before shoving it at Neku. "Aren't you glad you're here to keep me in line?"

"Thrilled," Neku muttered, eyes moving over the notations, nodding a little as he started to understand some of what was on there. "You're opening another sector for the game?" he puzzled out and Joshua smiled and nodded.

"Very good, Neku," he praised. "Your reading ability has gotten better."

"Ass, I'm not some grade-school kid," he muttered. "You could at least say that I'm correct and leave it at that."

"Where's the fun in that, though?" Joshua snickered. "It's so much more entertaining to see the different faces you make."

"Moving on," Neku muttered, "why are you opening up another sector? You didn't think that running from the Scramble to Miyashita was long enough and you wanted to change it up?"

"Hmm, I suppose it's not so much as opening a new section as reopening an old one," Joshua mused, tapping his lip as he thought it out. "Ebisu Gardens used to be one of our spots—dreadfully low amount of stuff for missions in the past, but he has gained recent importance, so it should be amusing to see what we could do with the place."

"And the Meiji Shrine?" Neku asked dryly. "Tired of fashion all the time and wanted some culture?"

"Exactly, Neku—my, you are sharp today." Joshua clapped his hands together once. "I really do look forward to seeing what ideas you can present for those areas. It should be so very interesting."

"Me?" Neku stared at him. "That's not _my_ job…is it?"

"Well, not entirely, but I am depending on your good sense, Neku," Joshua tsk'd. "You're here to keep me stable, to direct my Music and ideas—" he smiled. "You're my voice in the Game, remember and on occasion, you'll run the Game if I … go anywhere."

"You better _not_ go running off!" Neku growled out, putting the papers to the side. "I won't get sucked any further into this crazy life of yours than I have to, Josh. Don't force me to, it won't be pretty."

"Ah, so you'd rather have Shibuya fall to pieces around your ears because an emergency came up and you didn't want to complete your duties?" Joshua gave a mock-sigh of disappointment. "Really, Neku—I thought better of you than that."

Neku visibly struggled to not just strangle the Composer, hands shaking before he slumped. "Just tell me before you do something like that?" he asked tiredly. He knew that he couldn't win an argument with Joshua and he didn't have the energy to really try at the moment. He was still trying to figure out what all the catches were if he decided to go to school this year instead of waiting and what other delightful surprises awaited him with this job of his. He reminded himself that killing Joshua wouldn't get him any answers.

That and _he'd_ permanently get saddled with the job as Composer.

Joshua giggled and pushed his hair back. "Of course, Neku. I'll make sure to warn you."

"…good," Neku muttered.

"Now that we have that settled, have you made your choice yet about whether to stay or go?" Joshua asked. "As I understand it, the school term starts soon and I would have for you to miss it if that really is your desire."

Neku frowned at Joshua. "I know there's something that you're not telling me," he said slowly, "and I can ask and ask and I'm sure you'll just giggle and twirl your hair and avoid the question like usual, but… Joshua… why are you giving me this chance?"

Joshua did giggle and leaned forward, staring Neku in the eyes. "You'll just have to figure that out for yourself, now won't you?"

"Once an ass, always an ass," Neku muttered. He looked at the papers, then at Josh and sighed. "Just answer me this—if it doesn't work out for any reason or if someone goes weird or wrong…can I change my mind?" It took a lot for him to say that, to admit that his choice might not be the best.

Joshua nodded, his expression shifting into a more serious one. "Yes, Neku—you can come home whenever you would like."

Nodding, Neku stood up. "Then let's try this." He was still suspicious, but if Joshua said that he could change is mind –even he didn’t think Joshua wanted to entirely break him after he had gotten him to where he wanted him –then he could do this.

He just hoped that the sudden sinking in his stomach wasn't a premonition of any sort as Joshua pulled out his cell phone, talking rapidly about imprinting, arrangements and time limits. Neku followed Joshua's half of the conversation, but it was over quickly and Joshua turned to him with a smile. "Well, now that the school part is set in motion, let's continue your _other_ lessons. Draw the series of clefs, starting with a treble," Joshua ordered and Neku hid his groan. Regular school couldn't be as demanding as Joshua's 'Conductor' lessons.

~

He was glad that Joshua left him alone for awhile; he need the time to process everything. The music notes that were shoved into his head, the knowledge and meaning and purpose of them; he'd only studied them a few times, but they sat firmly in his head now and if he closed his eyes, he could see numerous purposes for them and how to put them together. It scared him; he had never studied music or composition or conducting and how he just _knew_ how to do it made him feel like there was a part of himself that he hadn't yet discovered. As if someone else lived inside of him and was controlling the music part.

 _Maybe that's why I'm so damn eager to get away from this and Josh_ , he thought grimly. He could pretend to be normal, during the daytime at least. He would be a normal student again, struggling with classes and other students and questions of 'how _is_ your life at home?' It sounded like the best thing ever when compared to Reapers and Music notes and Players getting Erased.

He wasn't sure what to expect from whatever school he got sent to, but he knew there were only a few in Shibuya proper and he had a feeling it would be St. Michaels—close enough to the main power area of Shibuya where Sanae, random Reapers, or even Joshua himself would feel perfectly at ease at keeping an eye on him. The thought of Joshua showing up at his school gave him the shivers, though and he quickly pushed the thought out of his mind.

He turned over his in his bed, oddly comforted by the array of items he grew up with; Joshua had done a good thing in bringing it all, it was strange how it felt normal to see it. It actually…helped with this whole new life, new position—something that he knew he could never escape.

The new term started in a few days and Neku was sure that Joshua would shove as much Conductor training down his throat before allowing him to move off into a normal school life. He should get to bed and he was tired, but there were still so many things on his mind.

As his eyelids started to droop, he wondered if Joshua's room held anything of his past, any remnants that connected him to a life that he was no longer was able to return to. It was a sobering thought and the last one he had before he fell asleep.

  
~

He was relieved that he could still be Neku Sakuraba, but there was a weird sort of Imprinting that made sure that he wasn't connected with the 'kid that had been shot by Udagawa'. When he looked at himself, he thought he looked the same, but to others—there was a slight difference here and there that didn't let them make the connection.

Neku plucked at the St. Michaels uniform, making a face. He remembered having to _collect_ these things during the Game and he wasn't sure what he should think at the idea of Joshua just 'having one laying around, in just Neku's size, too' but he didn't ask. He probably wouldn't like the answer.

"So…" Neku rubbed the back of his head. "I suppose I'll see you tonight or whatever?" he asked.

Joshua smirked. "Just one last thing, Neku—you forgot that I have to remove your Music before you go anywhere." He was standing almost too close for Neku's comfort; Neku could feel the power radiating off of Joshua. It was like the presence of the sun beating down in the middle of summer and he unconsciously took a step back. Joshua's fingers on his chin stilled him. "It won't be but a moment, dear. Now be a good boy and stand still and then I'll let you go off to school."

Neku made a face but waited for whatever Joshua was going to do to take away his music. He wasn't expecting Joshua to lean in, pressing his lips against Neku's. Neku couldn't jerk away; Joshua's grip was firm as he kept Neku in place.

Neku staggered when Joshua released him, eyes wide in his face. There was _something_ different, but not anything he could put his finger on precisely. It felt a little odd, but to his relief—it didn't hurt. Neku glared at Joshua. "Was kissing me _really_ necessary?" he demanded.

"Not exactly, but it was the most enjoyable method," Joshua giggled. "I'll hold onto your power, Neku until you need it again."

Neku rubbed at his lips, scowling as he made his way through the river and back to the main streets of Shibuya to go to school. He didn't have time to yell at Joshua now, but he was certain he'd make the time later.

 _Kissing me_ , he grumbled to himself. _What sort of freak is he to do that?_ He couldn't get the feeling of Joshua kissing him out of his mind though and it only served to aggravate him further. He grumbled his entire way to school, earning confused and almost apprehensive looks from the students traveling the same way as he was, wearing the same uniform.

He had been so caught up in his analysis of why Joshua would, of all things _kiss_ him, when the loss of something he had barely gotten used to hit him all at once and he reeled at the sudden silence that echoed inside his mind.

Telling himself firmly that it would get better and it wasn't as terrible as he made it out to be, he forced himself to continue to school. He would get through this and the emptiness would be forgotten while he studied the history and significance of the Heien Period; what formulas made sulfuric acid and how to speak in English to a foreigner.

He just wished that it wasn't so quiet and he vowed to bring his mp3 player the next day to alleviate the lack of music. He would get through this and prove Joshua wrong. He had to.

~


End file.
